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Song Parodies -> "V/STOL Aircraft was Huge"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"V/STOL Aircraft was Huge"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

After WW2, W Germany had a 10 year ban on aircraft development and had lost a majority of aircraft facilities, designers, and engineers to both the West and East. What was left had to band together to form new groups and in the 1960s-70s there was a huge amount of design work on military VTOL, V/STOL, and helicopeter projects that lacked funding. Yet 2 V/STOLs + 1 VTOL made it to testing phase and those were the VAK-191B fighter, the VJ-101C interceptor, and the huge Do-31E transport. Initially, the Do-31 was to support the VJ-101s in the field with 5.5 tons of weapons and fuel. Alternately, it could also land 36 armed troops. The aircraft was huge for a V/STOL at 30 tons and was lifted by two wingtip jet pods containing a total of 8x 4,409 lb st RR lift jets plus 2x 15,522 lb st RR Pegasus main turbofans for forward flight. It could operate from rough fields, almost anywhere where there was sufficient room to t/o and land. It also had a huge glazed cockpit for an excellent view and glazed floor panel for downward view. Fuel was fed from a massive central wing tank which was supplied by 4 internal tanks. It made 110 test flights with no accidents (almost unheard of with any V/STOL aircraft). But with lack of funding, Bonn's nervousness about any new Luftwaffe aircraft, and cancellation of the other two German V/STOLs... the Do-31 went nowhere. It was decades in advance of the lower-performing (speed and accommodation) V-22 Osprey. While flying from Munich to Paris for the 1969 Paris Airshow the plane set three international records for a jet-lift aircraft. The rear fuselage door and ramp were augmented by side-opening doors on both sides.
V/STOL aircraft was huge
in ‘69

Dornier 31 jet-lift new
8 lift engines
2 main turbofans

Was a demand for it
VJ-101s around
Needed support badly
Plane carried 11,000 lbs

[Or 36 armed troops for the ground]

V/STOL aircraft was huge
in ‘69
Nice climb

Early use
Early use
Early use
For 1970
Great in the air
Was accident-free
But lacked funding

[Sad canceling]

Not to be
V/STOL aircraft was huge
in ‘69
(W German post-war VTOL-V/STOL three)*
* Vak-191B, VJ-101C, Do-31E

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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 5   12
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - January 01, 2013 - Report this comment
Vak-191B: http://www.afwing.com/intro/birdy/vak_3.jpg VJ-101C: http://www.strange-mecha.com/aircraft/vtol/vj101c.JPG Do-31E: http://www.aviastar.org/pictures/germany/dorn_do-31_3.jpg http://www.pasionporvolar.com/wp-content/uploads/05-blog/aviones-vtol/plane-dornier-do-31-allemagne.jpg

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