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Song Parodies -> "XM312 with Crew"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"XM312 with Crew"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The General Dynamics XM312 is an attempt at a very lightweight replacement for the .50 cal M2. With tripod the crew-served weapon weighs 42 lbs compared to 128 lbs for the M2 and is claimed 9x more efficient and accurate. This is achieved through a barrel and gas recoil system that has virtually no kick and allows the shooter to aim through a fixed sight to hit the target with round #1 and sustain hits. It has a low ROF at just 260 rpm compared to 400-500 rpm for the M2 but does not waste all the other rounds that don't score! It can be fed from the left or the right too with disintegrating link ammo. The weapon can also be converted in under 5 minutes into a 25mm weapon through exchange of 4 major parts (which results in the XM307 ACSW). Due to low ROF, however, the XM312 is only fit for the anti-ground role and would be vunerable to helos and low-flying aircraft.
XM312 with crew
better x9

Gun/tripod weight highly reduced
Carried around
Shed 81 lbs!

Still a demand for it
Fires .50 cal rounds
Accuracy deadly
Low ROF means strict anti-ground

[260 rpm downrange sound]

XM312 with crew
better x9
Feeds left/right

For quick use
For quick use
For quick use
Handles wonderfully
Fixed sight stays there
Barrel is move-free
Recoil-steady

[Combat ready]

K50
XM312 with crew
better x9
(beats old Browning M2 MG)


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/86/XM312-01.jpg http://media.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/ORD_XM312_lg.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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 13
 

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