Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "B-99 was Bold"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"B-99 was Bold"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

When the B-36 Peacemaker appeared in 1948, it was the largest and heaviest combat aircraft in the world powered by 6x 3500 hp R4360-53 prop engines + 4x J47-GE-19s @ 5200 lb st each for a speed of 430 mph at 40,000 ft. The bomber weighed close to 400,000 lbs loaded and had a wingspan of 230 ft, length of 162 ft. It had 2 bomb bays which could carry between 36-43 tons of conventional ordnance OR 2x Mk.17 H-Bombs (called SUPERS in the late '50s). Each H-Bomb weighed more than a complete DC-3 aircraft!!! The plane needed 17 crew in 2 comparments connected via a central tunnel with a powered trolley! But the only real flaw was that the combined powerplants led to slow speed, especially over the target. Plans were made to carry a fighter with it (FICON) but new jet designs were coming thanks to study of German jet technologies from WW2. Convair built a slightly larger transport variant that was the XC-99 and from this was a plan to make an all-jet version with more fuel capacity and load-bearing. It was also longer at 185 ft. The proposed B-99 would weigh 500,000 lbs and would carry up to 101,000 lbs of ordnance. It would get rid of the props and be powered by 12 jet engines in 6 pairs! This was beyond the average B-36 and would have been an equal of the B-52. Speed would jump from 430 to over 600 mph. While this all sounded great, the B-36 lost out to the B-52 Stratofortress as SAC's new guardian. The B-99 design therefore lost its window of opportunity. None were ever built as it remained a project aircraft. Had the B-99 been built it might have been called the "Tie-breaker". While not generally known, the B-99 aircraft is in Pat Frank's novel "Forbidden Area."
B-99 was bold
rad design

B-36 meant to approve
H-Bombs packin’
Strategic action

Seventeen to crew it
12 twenties (mm) around
Mk.17s deadly
New SAC bomber would be Russia-bound

[MiGs would scramble to shoot them down]

B-99 was bold
A rad design
For time

Glasshouse view
Bomb bays- two
Nukes were huge
So massive was this beast
Fast in the air
At 600 speed
But plans did cease

[Convair’s defeat]

Not to be
B-99 was bold
A rad design
(Stratofortress could not be beat)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - February 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Rob - B-Wildering! ;D
Patrick - February 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Some day I plan to drive to Omaha to see one of the few surviving B-36 bombers at the SAC museum. If only I could see one fly! There are some great videos on youtube of the take-off sequence.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/screaminjayhawkins1081.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 862