This one door is open. Be patient. He'll soon pass through. Then the Three Wise Men will give you 5s. All is swell.

How would the Yanks not recognize a heavy gun like that? Didn't they have similar weapons like Gatling guns that were cranked? I'll admit that the revolving cannon is an oddity but still a cannon nonetheless. I think that the Rebs were very creative with their ironclads, that spar torpedo sub, some accounts of using balloons with explosives, and these weird guns, but they lacked the industrial capabilty to mass manufacture. Btw, have you ever heard of the World War II New Zealand Charlton? Was a Springfield rifle turned machine gun! My dad found one in a scrapyard when I was kid but it was later lost when we moved.

Wars bring out the creative impulses, at least to create instruments of destruction. Did you ever hear of a Confederate pike with a sliding blade that opened like a giant out-the-front switch knife? In the movie "Khartoum", starring Charlton Heston as the ill-fated Charles Gordon, there is a scene in which the crew of a Nile river steamer tries to repulse a dervish attack using a sliding breech hand-operated machine gun.

Why has everyone stopped allowing comments? Don't you want to know what others think? That's why I put my stuff on AIR and not just leave it in a spiral notebook on the seat of my car.

@Patrick -- I think comments (redacted) shut down because more (redacted) at the NSA than on this site read them. Fear of the Powers That Be hit me (redacted) years after I made a radical political speech in my Junior High School auditorium. The McCarthy hysteria (redacted) and many people had been blacklisted; some (redacted) suicide. As you see, I'm still in the habit of being cautious.

Also, some parodists are so redacted that they suffer when they read negative redactions.

@Patrick, you're thinking of the Confederate Retractable Pike of 72.25"! Other weird Confederate weapons were the failed Double-Barrel Gun which attempted to fire tethered cannon balls, the failed Steam Gun that was an attempt at an early machine gun but was limited to train usage as it was so big and although claimed fire was 200 rpm, it was never fielded! There was a chain rifle with 80 linked rounds that hung loose and was rotated as the trigger was pulled (same for chain pistol with 20 rds) and the odd Confederate version of the Harmonica Pistol:
http://i1.wp.com/listverse.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/553-g.jpg?resize=632,436

@GE, the NZ Charlton MG appeared in 1940 as a fully automatic conversion of a standard Lee-Enfield No.3, not a Springfield! Gas cylinder & piston to propel operating rod with curved cam to rotate the bolt handle. This opened the bolt, after which a spring sent it back. A Bren mag mounted under the the receiver replaced the rifle box mag. A forward handgrip and a bipod were fitted. An order for 4000 was placed but only around 200 were made and never used outside of NZ. The factory was ordered to produce the Australian Owen SMG instead!!!

Mr. Arndt: I have as much to contribute on Confederate firearms as you have to contribute to parody.
You are mistaken: I have no "chums" here. You have the exclusive rights to "chums." Those who once appreciated my send-ups of golden oldies have had the good sense to leave the rancour behind and take their humour elsewhere.
I detest the illogical use of "I could care less," when the intended meaning is exactly the opposite, namely "I couldn't care less." I feel so superior pointing that out.

Hey Al, why all the wasted space when you could have just responded "Blah, blah, blah" in CAPS?!!! That's all I'm hearing. I also find it amusing that someone with such strong convictions can't even sign their own name to their rebuttals meaning that you lack credibility. You are nothing more than a worthless commentator on this thread. And as for me, well, my author page has 2172 real parodies listed for over 2.5 years of non-stop production, not including over 4100 contributions in the entertainment sections. So, do you really think they are all anomalies? Get real. You and your buddies have zero effect on my posting ability. And I note your evasion on the Confederate arms theme of this parody as proof of your inability to stay On-Topic. You lack relevence here. At least Patrick and GE participated in a useful discussion. NFR...

2172. That's nice. Relevant? Not really.

Robby boy, ever heard of the Marlin? My father manned one of these in Britain in 1940 against the feared Jerry invasion. Seems Mr. Churchill wanted all coastal boats to have them. I have a single photo which is a bit grainy I'm afraid. Do you know many were made and what happened to them?

MD3, that's actually Marlin-Rockwell Corp. that received a contact in 1917 to manufacture 1000s of Colt M1895 "Potato Digger" MGs for US infantry. A subsequent requirement was for aircraft to fire through the prop-arc, so the guns were redesigned by removing the swinging gas piston and replacing it with a convention underbarrel gas cylinder and piston assembly. This was the US principal synchronized gun for several years. Another version for tanks added an upper aluminium radiator but these were removed for shipment to Britain in 1940. They were used to arm fishing trawlers and coastal light ships for defense against the LW. I have no firm number for Britain except that several thousand were shipped. The numbers from 1918 on were 38,000 aircraft guns and 1470 tank guns. The US sent many to Russia as well pre-Nazi invasion. I assume they were replaced gradually during the war and then scrapped altogether as obsolete. German shipping vessels used old types as well like MG-15s but later got MG-34s and 42s depending on their roles. German S-boots carried heavy MGs and cannons, torps, and mines!