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Song Parodies -> "Sabre-Briquet Didn’t Do"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Sabre-Briquet Didn’t Do"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

From 1780-1815 French infantry were forced to used a very ineffective sabre- the Sabre-Briquet which was too light and short to do its job. It was 3 ft long overall and weighed 2 lbs total with a curving blade for slashing. But since it couldn't reach its opponent, French soldiers on horseback and on foot had to use their "clubbed" muskets and bayonets instead! It is said that the poor quality of steel easily "flexed like lead" which was bad enough, but also that in close fighting even when lunging at an opponent the Sabre-Briquet failed to reach its target (even in stabbing actions)!!! It was abandoned in 1807 by order but still was being used in 1815 with some regiments. A very poor-quality weapon, it should have never been produced. Note: in text I used (17)'89 to match original lyric words for you're mine...
Sabre-Briquet didn’t do
short for time

The poor grade steel was very crude
For attackin’
The blade was lackin’

French soldiers couldn’t stand it
Hard to stand their ground
Total length was 3 feet
It was so light- blade weight 1 lb!

[Took bayonets to bring enemies down]

Sabre-Briquet didn’t do
Too short for time
‘89

Shortness proved
Of no use
No excuse
For lack of effectiveness
A poor sabre
For the infantry
Full-sized worked best

[Or a musket]

Was tricky
Sabre-Briquet didn’t do
Too short for time
(Curved blade for slashing)

[Reduced to up-close stabbing]
http://www.knifeforums.com/uploads/1273599671-sabreBriquetAn9_1.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

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Patrick - October 31, 2013 - Report this comment
The French would make up for their short swords by putting them on rifles and calling them bayonets. I imagine you've seen the photo of the 1914 poilu with his 1886 Lebel rifle and bayonet, which, combined, stood taller than he did.

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