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Song Parodies -> "PPS, Best of Crude"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"PPS, Best of Crude"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

For Patrick: The PPS-41 was a gun of desperation considering the fact that by the time the Germans laid siege to Leningrad small arms of any type were scarce. Stalin ordered local factories and even cottage industries to manufacture what they could from the materials and machines still available. The result was a new SMG that weighed 6.5 lbs, had wood furniture, a 35 rd box mag, and fired 700 rpm! It was crude to the extreme and yet very robust for the conditions of the USSR. Lacking sufficient Nagants and PPSh-41 SMGs, the factory workers and soldiers used the PPS-41 in huge quantities. This was replaced by the PPS-43 with a folding stock. Neither SMG was designed to use the Soviet drum mag and still they were very popular with over 1 million produced by 1945. Even the Germans kept the secret of 9mm conversions by claiming that they acquired Soviet PPS-41s when their MP-40s ran out of ammo. WiW converted thousands during the war with a 9mm barrel and altered mag housing. Stalin started to resent the SMG by the end of the war as the symbol of Leningrad’s resistance and the glory of the political figures in Leningrad using it as a power symbol. He had them shot or removed from office and shipped all of their inventory to Korea. He attributed all the victory over Nazi Germany with small arms to the PPSh-41 and had it photographed for propaganda purposes with occupying forces while removing pics of the PPS-41 and 43. Also, it is barely acknowledged that the reason that the Soviets produced 5 million PPSh-41s to equip most of their troops over the rifle Nagant was that the lesson of the Winter War with Finland where the Suomi reigned caused this shift towards reliance on SMGs. The Germans, of course, invented the first true SMG in WW1 with the Bergmann MP-18 and continued onwards with the MP-28, MP-34, MP-35, MP-38, and MP-40. There was even a MP-45 in 1945. Postwar, the Soviets adapted the German STG-44 into the AK-series of rifles and downplayed SMGs. Germany revived the STG-45 through CETME of Spain and came full circle with the HK G-3 rifle AND new Walther MP-K and MP-L SMGs until the HK MP-5 made history and now the HK MP-7...
PPS, best of crude
just in time

Leningrad siege, nothing to use
Locals took action
SMG manufacturin’

Germans couldn’t stand it
Fired 700 rounds (pm)
7.62 (mm) was deadly
Germans picked it up when Reds shot down

[The robust weapon was passed around]

PPS, best of crude
Was just in time
Off (production) lines

7-6-2
Box mag too
Tons produced
In local factories
Stalin aware
Of publicity
Not satisfactory

[To Korea for free]

Secrecy
PPS, best of crude
Was just in time
(Even converted by Germany)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fb/PPS.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Gun ? - January 08, 2014 - Report this comment
Fascinating bit with the PPS. Never heard of it before, but saw a Russian submachine gun in a display case at a World War II military expo a long time ago. Could have been that PPSH-41. I recall seeing a photo of a Russian bomber with its bay holding a large number of these guns for strafing German infantry. What was it and was it ever used? Looked formidible, but wouldn't that thunder have rocked the plane severely? Just curious.
Rob Arndt - January 08, 2014 - Report this comment
The plane was a test version of the Tupolev Tu-2, the Tu-2Sh that had a pallet full of SMGs in the bomb bay (82x PPSh-41s with drum mags) aimed down and forward for strafing runs. Problem was: if the plane was that low to strafe, then it was in the gunsights of every German infantry and flak gun too!!! Not used... 73800 rpm!!! The German SaMaKa AA gun holds the record for WW2 at 12800 rpm as flak and Stuka wing gun pods fired 4800 rpm aimed 30o down for strafing runs. During WW1 at the end the Germans had motorguns running off the engines that fired 1400 rpm (Pfalz D.XII) and the experimental Gast gun which fired 1600 rpm. FYI
Patrick - January 08, 2014 - Report this comment
The PPS-43 is still being offered as a semi-automatic, with the stock welded in the folded position. Haven't seen any 7.62x25mm for at least a year. Mosin-Nagants are going for $129 in KCK. Saw one fellow buy five of them as Christmas gifts. US film makers in WWII made replicas of the PPSh-41 and MP-40 from Reising Model 50's.
Rob Arndt - January 08, 2014 - Report this comment
Patrick, in my area the sports goods store is Big 5 which sells Nagants with a scope for $189 and both SKS rifles and some AK-clones are available, but in the latter case in .22LR. Haven't seen a good MAK-90 in 7.62x39mm in a long time. Most high-end rifles are AR-clones in 5.56x45mm. Anyway, there's more on the PPS-43 which was copied by the Chinese and sent all over the world. Poland made them and those ended-up in Africa! And the Finns copied it as the M44 where one of their designers went to Spain and made the DUX M51 and sold one to the German Border Guards postwar. This generated interest and so 1000 were ordered by 1954/55 as DUX M53 improvements and finally a DUX M59 that the new German Army took an interest in but did not adopt by 1960. During WW2 the last Erma SMG was the crude EMP-44 which took a 32 rd box mag and had tubular steel. Was not issued. Sten copies like Gerat Potsdam and the MP-3008 were produced and distributed in 1945- 28,000 total for the former and around 10,000 for the latter used in the Battle of Berlin by the Volkssturm. Some Waffen SS used Gerat Potsdam in action.

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