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Song Parodies -> "Poor Sten Gun Mk.II"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Poor Sten Gun Mk.II"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Sten was a mediocre weapon built at a time of emergency when England was threatened by the German Invasion that was planned. Scrap metal was literally turned into crudely machined Stens and the Mk.II was one of the worst types. It had an uncomfortable steel stock, had bad magazines that caused endless feed problems, and it could be accidentally fired if knocked! It lacked accuracy and at range many times failed to penetrate heavy German greatcoats of leather and cloth!!! The Brits dumped a lot of these on various underground groups, resistance fighters, and partisans. They too complained. The Germans tried to make a better version in the last year of the war, but went instead with Gustloff’s VG series in actual fighting in Berlin.
Poor Sten Gun Mk.II
Scrap metal lines…

Produced in numbers, was quite crude
Jerry survivin’
Resistance fightin’

Roughly machined bandit
Went off when knocked around
9mm deadly
But several versions were not sound

[Mag feed poor, so were shipped underground]

Poor Sten Gun Mk.II
Off scrap metal lines…
Not refined

Steel stock crude
Action rude
Not approved
Poor performance at range
Reports here and there
‘Bout capabilities
Lacked punch- was strange

[Guerillas complained]

Was a need
Poor Sten Gun Mk.II
Off scrap metal lines…
(“Better than a Pike,” agreed!!!)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Michael Whitley - March 27, 2014 - Report this comment
Two million produced in three years was impressive for the time...
Rob Arndt - March 27, 2014 - Report this comment
The Sten actually stands for Shepherd, Turpin, and Enfield- the two designers and the manufacturer. It was originally designated under Military Carbine N.O.T. 40/1. The German versions were Great Potsdam and MP-3008 of which about 50,000 were manufactured...
Callmlennie - March 27, 2014 - Report this comment
Another weapon that looked as bad as it performed.
Rob Arndt - March 28, 2014 - Report this comment
The Australian Owen is far uglier and just as crude, but Tim Mullin, the world's so-called authority on the SMG, named it best overall in combat history!!! I was, like. WTF??? Germany alone has fielded the first true SMG- the Bergmann MP-18 and then MP-28, moving on in WW 2 with the Erma MP-40 and postwar with the Walther MP-K and L models, off to the fantastic HK MP-5 and new revolutionary PDW MP-7! Then there are the historical best: the Thompson, Sterling, Uzi, PPSh-41 and PPS-43, and Suomi. This just proves that experts pick their faves too and are partial. And Mullin I don't trust anyway. Kevin Dockery as Secret Service armorer is a more impartial judge and he goes with the MP-5 series with 40+ variants, serving for decades with SFs, HRUs, Police, Spies, VIP personnel, and so on... the Beretta M93R Btw, was the customized Robocop gun for the first series and on recommendation by firearms authorities that preferred that tactical machine pistol to more heavier and longer SMGs. VIP guards love it too. The Owen? F-that POS!
Patrick - March 28, 2014 - Report this comment
Thousands of the Mark II were cut up for scrap and shipped to the US in the early 1990's where they were rebuilt by clandestine gun shops and basement garages into illegal SMG's. One fellow told me years ago he thought there were over 500 hidden Sten Guns in Kansas City. Still, a drop in the bucket compared to AK-47 variants and the increasingly popular AR-15/M4 types.

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