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Song Parodies -> "Gay Bomb You Never Knew"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Gay Bomb You Never Knew"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In the 1990s serious thought was given to development of a so-called Gay Bomb which filled with female pheromones would be aerosol dispersed over enemy territory to make all the soldiers horny, which was believed might cause uncontrolled lust for sex with men! It actually made it to planning stage, but was cancelled. Add this to the US Anti-Cannabis Bomb for use in Columbia and the British Anti-Opium Bomb used in Afghanistan! Israel tried to develop an Anti-Arab Bomb based on genetic markers, but that failed too! Btw, these are just weird bombs, not bombs more powerful than the H-Bomb (6 more types*)!
Gay Bomb you never knew
From warped minds...

Female pheromones to be used
Attraction odor, enemy
troops get boners!!!

Someone forgot the facts
Gay soldiers already around
Old belief was unfit
But unit cohesion wasn't down
(No one on duty messed around)

Gay Bomb you never knew
From warped minds...
Cuckoo time

Stupid view
Sex drive tool
Could not prove
That it would do as projected
Start a Queer War
Within an army
It was never even tested!

Unsatisfactory
Gay Bomb you never knew
From warped minds...
(Very high concept improbability)
* Cobalt-Salted C-Bomb, Red Mercury Augmented (RMA), Anti-Hydrogen (Anti-Matter Bomb or AMB), Karl Nowak's WW2 Molecular Super-Compression Bomb, Artificial Quantum Singularity Bomb (Black Hole technology derived from CERN), and the terrifying UFB (Unified Field Bomb) envisioned by both Tesla and Einstein. Tesla's electrogravitics and UF documents captured by the Nazis.

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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

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Bomb's Missing Steps Plan - December 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Step 1: ???
Step 2: Enemy soldiers all go homo and start humping each other instead of fighting.
Step 3: Victory!
Rob Arndt - December 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Step 1 was dispersal from altitude like a FAE. I thought I made that clear in the Intro...
??? - December 21, 2015 - Report this comment
The question turned out to be "Disperse WHAT from altitude?" Turns out pheromones aren't much use for changing people's sexuality. "We'll get you a gay bomb... just as soon as we find something effective at gaying those guys."
Missing Step - December 21, 2015 - Report this comment
The question turned out to be "What do we put in those bombs?" Female pheromones don't do squat to change anyone's sexuality.
Rob Arndt - December 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Sorry, but although there is no proof with civil pheromone sprays for sexuality altering, the military planned to used engineered female sex pheromones to produce mass male lust that would drive them to commit sexual acts on fellow soldiers. Not as in a sexual orientation switch, but in an overall sexual frenzy. Btw, MRI scans of males exposed to strong female sex pheromones do show an effect on certain parts of the male brain. But such results in the field over a large dispersal area is questionable at best. I never claimed to believe in this concept which was cancelled.
Porfle Popnecker - December 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Good one! The thought of them trying to "gay up" the enemy made me start thinking of "Gay 'Em Up" to the tune of "Start Me Up" by the Rolling Stones.
Rob Arndt - December 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Run with it, Porfle!!! By all means!
Patrick - December 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Bit late, but hope you see this. A friend of mine uncovered some old documents relating to a WWII project by the US Army to train dogs to distinguish Japanese from Americans. They would be used in the Pacific campaign to roust Japanese soldiers from caves and attack them in other hiding places. Japanese-American soldiers were actually assigned to train the animals to pick up on some imagined peculiar "scent" or other characteristics only dogs could detect. http://www.pbs.org/opb/historydetectives/investigation/war-dog-letter/
Rob Arndt - December 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Reminds me of the Russian AT dog mines, trained with Russian tanks. Once the dogs were loosed, they tended to run back to the Russian tanks, not towards the German types! At least 39 Red tanks destroyed. Germans used AT dogs too but trained them to drop charges that were remote detonated. In general, all dogs were shot by tank crews and Infantry in combat areas. Germans also tried to teach concentration camp dogs to communicate with the SS suspicious activity. Partially worked using tapping methods. And German dogs won Iron Crosses for bravery! All part of Weird War II documents.
Rob Arndt - December 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Read this too: http://strangevehicles.greyfalcon.us/Krieghund.htm

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