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Song Parodies -> "Thorneycroft Carbine Crude"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Thorneycroft Carbine Crude"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Made in 1901, this may well have been the first bolt-action bullpup made for military trials. See illustration below...
Thorneycroft Carbine crude
But new for time

Bullpup rear action new
British entry
In stock .303

Troops couldn't handle it
Recoil was profound
Action confusing
Lee-Enfield still best around
(For Brits, Germans had K98 down)!

Thorneycroft Carbine crude
But new for time
Yet non-refined

Infantry use
Could take abuse
Charger clips used
Enfield? T'was 8" shorter
10% lighter
Decent accuracy
But recoil was a bother

Despite pleas
Thorneycroft Carbine crude
But new for time
(Rejected for Brit Infantry)
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/bc/Thorneycroft_carbine%2C_patent_14622_of_July_18%2C_1901.png/600px-Thorneycroft_carbine%2C_patent_14622_of_July_18%2C_1901.png

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Smerconish - January 04, 2016 - Report this comment
It's high time that garbage like this was banned from the site. Are there no minimum standards?
Rob Arndt - January 04, 2016 - Report this comment
Not the first here to do an info parody or weapons parody and won't be the last, Sir. You, of course, are entitled to your opinion. Others here write of doctor surgical procedures and anatomy, and a certain Finn writes about personal experiences. Even more do tributes when someone dies. None are empirically funny, but they still count. Go harass them now. Guess you can't grasp the idea of parodies that are witty, sarcastic, morbid, or other non-humorous. Take a look around, pal. There are plenty of authors that write about the mundane. Most aren't funny by definition.
Dwight McDonald - January 04, 2016 - Report this comment
Parody is making a new wine that tastes like the old but has a slightly lethal effect. How does another quick, easy and lazy IPASOY word substitution exercise measure up to this standard? This is just another mass-produced widget,
Patrick - January 04, 2016 - Report this comment
As a left hand rifle shooter, bull-pups never interested me. The Lee-Enfield was always a favorite of mine. Don't have one any more as there are no places to shoot something with that range around here. Ever see a Wilkinson Terry carbine in 9mm?
Rob Arndt - January 04, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, in the late 1800s there was a 9x 57mm cartridge for Mausers based on the 7.92x 57mm cartridge. Also by 1900, a weird 9.3x 57mm used in Scandinavia. Swede hunters supposedly still use this round!

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