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Song Parodies -> "WTF Happened to GI Joe?"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"WTF Happened to GI Joe?"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

My 3000th parody! What better way to celebrate then with another Spell, complete with too many syllables and questionable pacing!!! See image below...
WTF happened to GI Joe?
Over time?

In the '60s Joe was new
Action figure
Military vigor

Then someone changed it
Cobra started, size shrunk down
Storm Shadow, Snakes Eyes matters
Mini-figures a let down
(But animated TV show was sound)

WTF happened to GI Joe?
Over time?
Lost their minds?

Retros cool!
Concepts new!
Mythology too???
Dark Ninja Master not cool
Blood stones, Arashikage?
New bone weaponry
GI Joe vs Voodoo???

Insanity!
WTF happened to GI Joe?
Over time? Lost their minds?
(What's next? Alien entities?)
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/toyupdates/joe3.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Patrick - January 06, 2016 - Report this comment
I am old enough to remember when G.I. Joe was still a "doll". The fellow at Hasbro who coined the term "action figure" opened the gates for a whole new market demographic. The key to action figure marketing is to create new weapons and accessories, along with the addition of a growing cast of enemies. The best example was the Ninja Turtle series. Every variation in costume or function, the collector had to buy four of them. Once knew a fellow who had every G.I. Joe and Ninja Turtle. All new in package. What impressed me most was that the Leonardo baseball glove was for a right hander.
Rob Arndt - January 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Still remember my first GI Joe I got from Gemco. I was drawn to the foreign soldiers German Panzer guy but my dad who was a Marine almost beat my ass in the store for even suggesting it! I got the standard Army guy with the non-lifelike moulded hair and a GI Joe foot locker. Joined the mail-in club for the dog tags and free shirt! No Internet back then. Later, got the ones with the funky hair and Kung Fu grip! But once they went to the 5" figures and Cobra, I quit. Now there's Mr. Dark Ninja shaman. Might make an interesting live action GI Joe movie, but I would never own such an obscene thing. My mom wouldn't even allow me to buy Japanese monster toys in the '70s!!!
Patrick - January 06, 2016 - Report this comment
I remember the 2" tall plastic "Army Men" and the Ben Hur play set with the chariots and Roman soldiers. The 5" G.I. Joes and Cobra figures looked like a scam to me. Get the collector to buy one of everything just to maintain a complete series. Sort of like when I had to buy a DVD of "Atlas Shrugged Part III" just to have all three of the videos. Not many of Part III were released so I had to pay about twice as much for it on Amazon.
Rob Arndt - January 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, do you remember the old cowboys and Indians set that came in cheap plastic bags? Also, balsa wood aircraft?
Patrick - January 09, 2016 - Report this comment
The cowboys and Indians were common in the stores of my childhood. I remember the lightweight 10 cent balsa wood gliders. The actual assembly kits were too expensive and complicated for my 10-year old capabilities. My brother and I would get bags of soda bottle caps from the corner store and arrange them as armies by brand logo. Didn't cost anything. Sometimes we would build a model baseball stadium and enact games with the bottle caps, using popcorn kernels as baseballs. Just looked on Amazon and see that the classic green plastic soldiers are still available from numerous sources. Prices aren't really much higher than in the 1960's.
Rob Arndt - January 09, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, did you ever make any rubber band guns with wood & clothes pins? Or ever fire a clamped round with a hammer and nail at a target in the back yard? One time in the '80s I bought an expensive German pellet gun pistol and lined up Coke bottles at the end of the yard. Fired away and none broke. I thought WTH and walked over. The fps was so high all shots went right through all the bottles and didn't even move them. I miss that Pistol. Sold it like so many great toys and machines of yesteryear. Miss my metal KSC RoboCop motorized soft air that looked so real I bought a gun case for it. The guys freaked when they saw it because it was all metal, heavy, with a 10" barrel, ported, and mag inserted. I had to explain that it was a toy from Japan. Cost me $200 plus shipping. Later, they made cheap plastic versions under the "Auto 9" label with clear view and orange tip. Waste of money at $50 but you got a second small soft air Pistol with it.

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