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Song Parodies -> "War-winning Black Widows"
Original Song Title:
"I Put a Spell on You"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Parody Song Title:
"War-winning Black Widows"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
No, not the P-61s!!! Some Weird War 2 info!
War-winning black widows
Fed with flies
Fort Knox to Columbus, Ohio
100' + per week
Gunsight crosshairs, complete!
Quartermaster Corps demanded it
Spider silk would be wound
Collected, cleaned with acetone brushes
One-fifth diameter of a hair, strong & sound
(Used in gunsights to shoot things down)
War-winning black widows
Fed with flies
After 4 months, died*
Rotating hangers used
Unwound pieces, cleaned, moved
Diaphragm, then fitted to transit approved
Silk lines almost unbreakable
Perfect for optic gear
Produced cheaply
Web Shop was highly unusual!
Shrieking, NOT acceptable!!!
Met a need
War-winning black widows
Fed with flies
(Also for nets and suturing)
Fed with flies
Fort Knox to Columbus, Ohio
100' + per week
Gunsight crosshairs, complete!
Quartermaster Corps demanded it
Spider silk would be wound
Collected, cleaned with acetone brushes
One-fifth diameter of a hair, strong & sound
(Used in gunsights to shoot things down)
War-winning black widows
Fed with flies
After 4 months, died*
Rotating hangers used
Unwound pieces, cleaned, moved
Diaphragm, then fitted to transit approved
Silk lines almost unbreakable
Perfect for optic gear
Produced cheaply
Web Shop was highly unusual!
Shrieking, NOT acceptable!!!
Met a need
War-winning black widows
Fed with flies
(Also for nets and suturing)
* Black widow's lifespan reduced from 1 year to 4 months due to overproduction!!!
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Another piece of little known history. When I saw the title, I thought about the fighter plane, too. Today the animal rights people would be jumping the military for abusing an arachnid.
There must have been a lot of black widows in Kentucky, because that's where most were caught. Ultimately, there were 4 web facilities. Today, arachnofiber for silk armor protection is produced by cows! The spider gene is injected and then the product is strained from the milk! IIRC, one spider silk vest costs $250,000 and is considered 12x stronger than steel!
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