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Song Parodies -> "Nothing to Replace You"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Nothing to Replace You"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

As early as 1940 Messerschmitt was working on a redesign of the Me Bf 109 beloved by the Luftwaffe. The final version was the Me-309 which was modified four times to strengthen the fuselage, redesign the tail, add a bubble canopy, retracting radiator, add pressurization, tricycle gear, and add heavy armament. But by the time the final version of the Me-309 was completed by 1943 (with 1475 hp DB 605 replacing the 1750 hp DB 603) speed was reduced to 360 mph down from 455 mph and armament was up with 3x 13mm MG-131s, 2x 20mm MG-151/20s, and 2x 30mm MK-108s!!! This heavy fighter was not as maneuverable as the Bf 109G, was slower, and was ultimately defeated by the rival Fw-190 design which ended-up being the Fw-190D-9. So, the Bf 109 soldiered on with the K-series until the war ended... Note: this history excludes the horrible Me-209/II and does not get into the Me-609 either! "Adler" in the parody refers to the Bf 109's unofficial title as "Augsburg Adler" (Augsburg Eagle).
Nothing to replace you
Me Bf 109

Willy sought a new model by ‘42
Bf 109 survivin’
Adler was flyin’

Messerschmitt wanted to redesign it
1750 hp DB 603 spinnin’ around
Added guns would prove deadly
Tricycle gear, retracting radiator sound

Nothing to replace you
Me Bf 109
Even Me-309

309 was new
309 was new
309 was new
Redesigned four times
No real urgency
Enemy was rivalry
Superiority of Fw-190D-9

Canceled in ‘43
Nothing to replace you
Me Bf 109
(109 soldiered on with K-series)
http://www.warbirdphotographs.com/LCBW/Me309-1.jpg http://www.warbirdphotographs.com/LCBW5/Me309-V1-2f.jpg http://www.warbirdphotographs.com/LCBW/Me309-2.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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WCJ - August 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Unfortunately, one cannot stand in the way of progress... Great construction of this parody Rob! 555! :-)
Patrick - August 12, 2011 - Report this comment
A designer always has to make compromises over speed vs armament vs armor protection. Amazing the work that went on while Germany's borders were shrinking and infrastructure being destroyed.
Rob Arndt - August 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Yes, and that was one of the main reasons germany lost WW2. Hitler delayed many secret weapons for the first two years of the war, Hitler did not put the German nation on a full-war footing until 1943, Hitler did not allow the use of women in the workforce to be significant but relied on slave labor instead, there was duplication of effort among the services, Speer's hands were tied when it came to SS technology and the fight over materials and manpower, research under war conditions was absolutely insane with allocations of men and materials to build wasteful weapons of war that could never succeed, and even realizing the mistakes of the Uranium Bomb research in 1944, could not fabricate that nor the larger Molecular Bomb (H-Bomb) spoken of by Goering at the Nuremberg Trials. Germany instead opted to send uranium to Japan by U-boat transfer for their secret program at Konan, Korea (Genzai Bakudan). The Germans pushed science to its absolute limit and beyond into SS weapons that have no rival today: disc aircraft, EMG propulsion, Mercury-ion propulsion, spaceship designs to reach Aldebaran, EM wave disruptor cannon, force fields, unmanned flattend turbojet, spherical, and manned disc weapons with electrostatic weapons and firedamp aerosol dispensers (Foo Fighters, aka WNF Feuerball, AEG Kugelwaffen, ZW Kugelblitz), advanced metallurgy with Luftschwamm, desiccator gases, resurrection technology, the D.IX wonderdrug, the firedamp weapon, and even energy weapons/thermitic heat wave weapons.

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