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Song Parodies -> "Unabomber .22"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Unabomber .22"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, made this homemade pistol using nothing but crude hand tools in his remote cabin. He made this primitive gun to avoid the DOJ paperwork of having to buy one. It's remarkable in its craftsmanship, but rather dull-looking. In his own words: "few days ago I finished making a twenty two caliber pistol. This took me a long time, for a year and a half, thereby preventing me from working on some other projects I would have liked to carry out. Gun works well and I get as much accuracy out of it as I'd expect for an inexperienced pistol shot like me. It is equipped with improvised silencer which does not work as well as I hoped. At a guess it cuts noise down to maybe one third. It is said that it is easy for machinist to make a gun, but of course I did not have machine tools, but only a few files, hacksaw blades, small vice, a rickety hand drill, etc. I took the barrel from an old pneumatic pistol. I made the other parts out of several metal pieces. Most of them come from the old abandoned cars near here. I needed to make the parts with enough precision but I made them well and I'm very satisfied. I want to use the gun as a homicide weapon".
Unabomber .22
made over time

Ted Kaczynski was cuckoo
I ain’t lyin’
Manifesto writin’

Ted knew he could build it
Tools lyin’ around
Wooden pistol deadly
Government evidence when it was found

Unabomber .22
made over time
Shot fine

He built you
He built you
He built you
With an air gun barrel
He took great care
To use car parts secretly
Put lives in peril

Lunacy
Unabomber .22
made over time
(homicide weaponry)
http://www.thehomegunsmith.com/pics/unabomber.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

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David Copper - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Whoa! I never knew he made any weapons. That crazy SOB could have probably made even more stuff if he had better tools! Thanks Robert for finding this stuff!
WCJ - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Reminds me of the unibomber, at least I think that's who it was, you know, the guy who sent bombs in the mail.... I'll fire away three 5's for this one! :-)
Rob Arndt - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
WCJ, YES, that was a weapon made my him that they found when they raided his cabin!!!
Patrick - September 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Around the same time Ted Kaczynski was mailing bombs, there was another fellow dubbed "The Zip Gun Bomber" who sent packages containing multiple gun barrels firing .22 bullets in different directions when the package was opened. He injured several people. I saw a nice, homemade .22 pistol at a gun show last year. It is legal to build your own gun in most states, as long as it meets the specifications for length, rifled bore, etc. I once saw a story about an escapee from a mental hospital in Canada who survived in the woods and on an abandoned farm during a rough Canadian winter. When he was captured in the spring, he was carrying a six shot revolver with three chambers for .303 caliber cartridges and three .30-06. All six chambers were loaded with the ammo he was able to scrounge from the farm. The escapee had built the weapon himself from old tractor parts.

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