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Song Parodies -> "Simo Häyhä was Good"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Simo Häyhä was Good"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Simo Häyhä was a Finnish sniper that fought in the Winter War of 1939-40 in which he accomplished an incredible 505 confirmed kills plus 200 more with a Suomi SMG against the Red Army!!! And he accomplished this is 100 days of short daylight hours. Clad in all-white cammo the Reds nicknamed him "White Death" and used everything at their disposal to kill him. A Red soldier finally got him in March 1940 with a shot to the left jaw that pierced his cheek and left him unconscious for 7 days. He awoke alive and was able to live out his life postwar moose hunting and dog breeding. He is well-known around the world for his tally and his use of the Suomi which was also procured by the Swedes during WW2 b/c they were unable to secure German weapons. The Germans by comparison fought over a longer duration and used strictly bolt actions to snipe with, usually a Mauser K98k with a 4x scope and sometimes specialty fine optic Zeiss precision sights. But Germany fought all over the vast USSR and against huge forces so the top German sniper had 345 kills. While Simo was a rogue who fought alone with a modified Nagant and also carried a SMG, German snipers worked in teams: From "Death by Precision Fire: Highly accurate professional German Army and Waffen SS sniper units were very effective during World War II. Their deadly precision fire was legendary. In 1945, for example, the German Army fielded many units such as Kampfgruppe, "...Wesler, a company of snipers whose specialist activities and high 'kill' rate had so dominated one Russian bridgehead on the River Oder that enemy activity on that sector was held in check..."German snipers were posted everywhere throughout the German combat forces. Up to 22 German snipers were typically deployed with a German rifle battalion. Each sniper was paired with a marksman from that battalion in a two-man team.” The Soviets had great snipers too but the myth that they were better than the German Army and Waffen SS has no basis in reality. Zaitsev's record for example is propaganda as neither his log nor any real account give him the numbers he claims nor was there any battle with any German Major Konig- no such person and certainly NOT an officer. Snipers were low rank!!! The Soviets also mix-in SMG kills to boost their tally. That is not sniping!!! But credit where it is due- Simo was awesome in his short career!!!
Simo Häyhä was good
took Red lives

Fought Winter War against Red troops
Great at snipin’
Mosin-Nagant firin’

The Finns couldn’t stand it
Reds takin’ ground
Simo Häyhä was deadly
505 kills, he shot them all down

Simo Häyhä was good
took Red lives
From ‘39

His kills grew
His kills grew
His kills grew
200 more with Suomi
“White Death” beware
He was the best sniper
Of the Finnish Army

Victory!
Simo Häyhä was good
took Red lives
(survived shot to the jaw in 1940)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simo_Häyhä

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