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Song Parodies -> "Volkspistole was Crude"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Volkspistole was Crude"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In 1945 there were two primary Volkspistolen under development- one through Mauser which only resulted in a few prototypes and the lesser-known but more produced Walther model. These were part of a Primitive Weapons program that Goebbels supported for arming the Volkssturm (Home Guard) w/o draining the German Army and Waffen SS of major weapon systems. The Mauser pistol never left the factory but Walther was more successful. The Walther company first designed a model using pressed parts technology (as opposed to castings) that appeared to be very similar to the Colt 1911A. Both the first and second attempts were dismissed by the military weapons bureau. But the third version found favor with party leadership and the weapons bureau could no longer intervene. Production began on February 12, 1945 and by March 30 the first weapons were to be delivered. But because of the rapidly deteriorating situation, (Zella-Mellis, the company headquarters, was occupied by units of the 90th US Division on April 7th), only a few of these arms would leave the factory. With this pistol, came very primitive construction; the situation forced the use of various available parts and examples are unique in their construction.
Volkspistole was crude
for the time

‘45 pistol options were few
Mauser tryin’
Walther tryin’

Herr Goebbels did want it
Reds takin’ ground
Volkssturm needed weapons
Primitiv waffen passed around

Volkspistole was crude
for the time
Cheap 9s (mm)

They were crude
They were crude
They were crude
Made of pressed sheet metal
Walther did dare
Real emergency
Shipped to Berlin hell

Not to be
Volkspistole was crude
for the time
(only a few left the factory)
http://www.tanfo.de/0_WA/BLECH_0001.jpg http://www.tanfo.de/0_WA/BLECH_0002.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

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Patrick - November 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Other than the Gyrojet, I think the sheet metal pistol became a developmental dead end. Sort of like the even cruder US Liberator. I've handled a few of those but I would be reluctant to shoot one, unless I got to handload the cartridge. Someone is making the Liberator again, with a rifled barrel to comply with BATFE rules. The company warns purchasers not to take a specified size drill bit and put a hole through the breech plate, because that might allow the firing pin to traverse said breech plate and contact the primer of the cartridge. Hmmmh?
Rob Arndt - November 01, 2011 - Report this comment
That reminds me, the Germans had experimental rocket pistols in WW2, firing rocket bullets. I'll have to write about that topic!!!
WCJ - November 01, 2011 - Report this comment
I am not much into guns due to the fact I am deathly afraid of them! But still a great parody! 5's! :-)
Dylan Baranski - November 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Personally, I'd rather take one of these than a Nambu Type 94.
David Copper - November 01, 2011 - Report this comment
That looks like a crude Browning!
Rob Arndt - November 02, 2011 - Report this comment
Col Kirijo Nambu only designed the Taisho 04 which was then improved into the TAISHO 14 and then a 7mm version which was the Baby Nambu. The Type 94 was a different design of 8mm with a different operating system. IJA officers liked them but nothing much is known about them in any action. Japanese small arms were basically not very good during WW2. The P-38 was great but one of my faves was and always will be the Artillery Luger with the long 7.5" barrel and 32 rd snail drum mag!

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