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Song Parodies -> "Joint Grenade Launcher Cool"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Joint Grenade Launcher Cool"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Joint HK/US Army XM-25 IAWS (Individual Airburst Weapon System) was pioneered by HK in the 2000s and handed over to the US Army for fine-tuning from 2009 forward. It is a 12.6 lb bullpup grenade launcher that features a 4-rd rear mag, TAFCS fire control system with day/night capability through optics and thermal-imaging, easy to reach laser rangefinder, and programmable smart rounds of 25mm. The operator activates the laser rangefinder, marks the target, and then can adjust the range of the munition for detonation. This information is imprinted on the round through a microchip and the smart GL analyzes the air pressure and counts the revolutions of the round to target for precision detonation above or inside a target area for 100% first kill probability. It has worked so far in combat ranges up to 500m and max area range of 1400m. It can also carry a flechette (arrow) round as well as thermobaric warhead for cave use. A welcomed weapon that the US Army wants to get their hands on for the ME wars, the XM-25 should become available in 2012. Already, the German weapon is known in the US as "The Punisher"!!!
Joint grenade launcher cool
XM-25

Taking down targets out-of-view
Smart Weapon designin’
Microchip round flyin’

US Army couldn’t stand it
Insurgents all around
XM-25 can detonate in buildings
Timed rounds could take ‘em down!

Joint grenade launcher cool
XM-25
Since ‘09

They want you
They want you
They want you
By year 2012
TAFCS fire control
Bullpup, 4-rd magazine
Ready, on the shelf

Capability
Joint grenade launcher cool
XM-25
(day/night airburst with German efficiency)
http://www.militaryfactory.com/smallarms/imgs/heckler-and-koch-hk-xm25.jpg http://www.militaryfactory.com/smallarms/imgs/heckler-and-koch-hk-xm25_2.jpg

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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User Comments

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David Copper - November 09, 2011 - Report this comment
That's looks Sweet!!! What better way to clear a room in CQ combat?
Porfle Popnecker - November 09, 2011 - Report this comment
I want one.
Dylan Baranski - November 09, 2011 - Report this comment
I've heard of that bad boy before. It originated with the XM-29 Objective Individual Combat Weapon (OICW), which was canned because it was so bulky. The gun was split up into the XM-8 rifle and this. The XM-8 was trashed due to overheating problems, so this is what's left of the OICW.
Rob Arndt - November 09, 2011 - Report this comment
HK is also contracted by the US for the M-320 GL Module: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3496/3701317273_3cc2d65556.jpg

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