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Song Parodies -> "Suffolk Bomber No Use"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Suffolk Bomber No Use"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In 1936, the British Air Ministry issued a specification for a long range heavy bomber under B.12/36. Supermarine responded with its Type 316 which would have projected performance of up to 360 mph with 30,000 ft ceiling and 3000 mile range. Engines would be either Merlins, Hercules, or Daggers. But the project had competition from Short's S.29 and then there were delays with modification requests by the Air Ministry which led to the Type 317. So it took years until Supermarine Woolston could start to construct two modified prototypes with Hercules engines and double rear turret. They were lost in Sept 1940 to a Luftwaffe bombing raid along with the construction plans and all tooling- a total loss. So, the Suffolk saw no action in WW2; instead, the Short S.29 evolved into the Short Stirling and then came the Halifax and Lancaster (the last was best). Had the Suffolk arrived on schedule it would have been up to Lancaster standard much earlier and BC could have hit Germany earlier with more tonnage. In this regard, the Luftwaffe made an early accomplishment with its bombing raids!
Suffolk bomber no use
for war time

RAF had two bombers to choose
Was relyin’
On B.12 flyin’

Supermarine had it
Hercules spinnin’ round
Bombs and guns were deadly
But long delays kept it on the ground

Suffolk bomber no use
for war time
Lost time
(back-up Short S.29)

They had two
They had two
They had two
Prototypes being made
Woolston prepared
For main assembly
Both lost in a raid

Contingency
Suffolk bomber no use
for war time
(Short Stirling emerged victoriously)
I have never seen any photos of the prototypes, but here are two artist depictions: http://www.rjmitchell-spitfire.co.uk/otheraircraft/images/g_b12_b36_bomber_lrg.jpg http://freespace.virgin.net/john.dell/super.JPG

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - February 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Please note: if anyone here ever finds a pic of the Suffolks under construction, please post a link. I am known for finding the rarest of the rare in aviation (Rara Avis) and yet I have a list of military aircraft that were built or under construction that have no photographic record. Anyone into military aircraft that wants the list, hust ask here and I will post them.

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