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Song Parodies -> "No Funding Ended You"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"No Funding Ended You"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In 1939 Lockheed had a unique chance to build the first US jet fighter that could have rivaled the German Me-262 and might have gone into service before the British Gloster Meteor. But as fate would have it, the USAAF was not interested in Lockheed's radical design for the time nor its L-1000 jet engine. The Lockheed L-133 died a slow death from 1939-1942. It was unconventional for the time b/c it was a canard design with a blended planform and two axial-flow L-1000 (XJ-37) jets buried in the fuselage. It would also have tricycle landing gear and special slots for agility. Armament was to be 2x 37mm cannons in the nose! Speed would have been a phenomenal 612 mph- faster than the German latter He-162 at 560 mph! Very radical for the early 1940s w/o knowledge of the German jet development since 1939. The USAAF gave no funding, was not interested in jets, and so by 1942 it was cancelled. The US was beaten by Germany which flew the He-178 in 1939, the He-280 in 1940, the Italians with a cold ducted thermal jet (C.C.2/N.1) in 1940, and both the Me-262 and Gloster G.40 in 1941. The Bell XP-59 Airacomet flew in 1943 with a British jet engine and was rejected due to poor performance lower than piston fighters! Even so 59 P-59s were ultimately built to research jet development. Meanwhile, Lockheed returned with the P-80 Shooting Star which was plagued with mechanical and handling problems. Four were sent to Europe for display purposes and morale but none saw combat. The L-133 would have given the US parity with Germany and would most likely have seen combat before 1945. The Gloster Meteor DID make it to continental Europe, but took the northern approach to Germany and never ran into any LW fighters!!! It shot-down a few V-1s over Britain and strafed ground targets. The US blew the only chance they had to get a jet into combat. By 1945 both the Germans and British were working on second-generation jets (Fw Ta 183/Me P.1101/Go-229 vs De Havilland Vampire and Gloster Ace). Even the Japanese had jet prototypes! A sad but true story...
No funding ended you
years gone by

Lockheed proposed something quite new
Jet engine tryin’ (for)
Combat jet flyin’

Could have been a great hit
Radical canard sound
612 mph
Twin 37s (mm) to shoot Nazis down

No funding ended you
years gone by
Lost time

It never flew
It never flew
It never flew
L-1000 delayed
AF didn’t care
Tried the Bell XP (59)
So none were made

Not to be
No funding ended you
years gone by
(USAAF went with latter P-80)
What the Lockheed L-133 jet fighter would ahve looked like if built: http://hyperscale.com/features/2002/images/l133tc_1.jpg L-1000 (XJ-37) axial-flow engine: http://www.airlandseaweapons.com/img/upload/xj-37.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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