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Song Parodies -> "Bat Bomb was Never Used"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Bat Bomb was Never Used"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

On December 7, 1941 Pennsylvania dentist Lytle Adams was in New Mexico on vacation when he heard of the Pearl Harbor attack. Fascinated with the bats he saw at Carlsbad Caverns he devised a bizarre idea of how to hit Japan back- millions of bats armed with incendiary devices which would destory entire cities! His idea only got to the National Research Defense Commitee due to his frienship with Eleanor Roosevelt who passed the idea to her husband FDR. The nutcase idea was then evaluated and approved for funding although the methods of storing the bats and deploying them had numerous problems. The bats had to be put in cold hibernation and a new incendiary had to be found b/c the bats could not carry a 2 lb device- the smallest available. So, napalm was substitued instead with the bats packed in circular sections of the main bomb casing and released at a specific altitude in sequential order. When set free, a spooled ribbon line would start the timer for 30 minutes until detonation. By that time the millions of bats would have sought darkness in the wooden Japanese buildings under every nook and crannie they could find. 30 minutes later and approx. 48,000 explosions would go off setting an entire city on fire! However, the project was abruptly cancelled right when it was almost ready for action. No reason was given but it is supposed that the atomic bomb project rendered the bat bomb idea useless. Mr. Adams continued his nutty ideas with patents for a fried chicken vending machine, seed bombs for barren land, and many other wacky ideas!
Bat bomb was never used
waste of time

Mexican free tail bat was used
Wings were flappin’
Napalm bomb strappin’

Idea of a dentist
Send armed bats to the ground
Blasts in nooks and crannies
Would burn Japanese cities down

[48,000 fires all around]

Bat bomb was never used
waste of time
Declined

Used ice cubes
Used ice cubes
Used ice cubes
Induced hibernation
Exposed to air
Armed when set free
Timer (then) explosion!

Spending spree
Bat bomb was never used
waste of time
($2 million on aerial oddity)
http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/science/batshitcrazybomb.jpg http://www.bathead.com/Weapons/BAT-Batbomb.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   23
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 23
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Robin: "Holy Bat-splat Batman... someone 1-bombed the Bat Bomb!!!" Batman: "What sort of sinister fiend would do such a thing???"

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