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Song Parodies -> "Third Reich Blood to Transfuse"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Third Reich Blood to Transfuse"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

German patents were abundant up to WW2 and certain medical technologies were at the top including synthetic penicillin, synthetic blood plasma, and synthetic blood. But out of military necessity certain patents were seized by the SS for their use. Synthetic blood Periston and synthetic blood plasma Capain were among those taken and used by the SS. Major Rudolf Lusar who was an engineer working for the German Patent Office recalls the synthetics in his 1959 book translated as "German Secret Weapons of the Second World War" and how they were taken. The October 1946 issue of Harper's magazine also confirms the synthetics under their article "Secrets by the Thousands" and how the US military was overwhelmed by them and yet managed to classify some while developing and selling others! In this age of fearful blood transfusions with AIDS the Nazi synthetics, which were uncontaminated, would be beneficial, but unfortunately the US Army buried those secrets along with many others for synthetic fuel production, advanced metallurgy, and a range of superweapons still classified. Therefore, there are very little details of Periston, Capain, and synthetic penicillin substitute 3065. Even the German wonderdrug D.IX is kept shrouded in mystery with only 3 ingredients listed to prevent modern manufacture! There are persistent rumors that the Nazis also did cancer research in WW2 and that material is missing as well (or more likely suppressed).
Third Reich blood to transfuse
lost in time

Synthetic blood was something new
Patent missin’
It remains hidden

SS demanded it
Periston was found
Clean* blood came in handy
US Army stole it, shut it down

[Nazi technology moved around]

Third Reich blood to transfuse
lost in time
Undermined

Capain too
Capain too
Capain too
Synthetic blood plasma
Just isn’t fair
Tech from enemy
You can’t have it

[Healthcare loss of profits]

Out of reach
Third Reich blood to transfuse
lost in time
(German synthetics could meet real needs)
*Uncontaminated. Periston has been described as a gelatinous substance that was mixed with water to make synthetic blood. Germans claimed over 200,000 successful transfusions during WW2 (Time magazine medical notes, Oct 8, 1945 issue).

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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