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Song Parodies -> "SMG Toggle Use"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"SMG Toggle Use"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt jr.

The Lyrics

Swiss arms-maker Adolf Furrer specialized in manufacture of the German P-08 Luger with its famous toggle action. But when supplies ceased in 1918 as a result of the German loss, Furrer decided to manufacture his own variant and then, quite oddly, to apply the Mauser toggle action to both a LMG by 1926 and later to a WW2 potential SMG. The LMG was overly complex and yet stil produced for no apparent reason other than no competition (it amazingly survived until the 1950s)! But the Furrer MP41 SMG is universally acknowledged as the most overly complex SMG in history. It was as if Furrer was trying to make a mass-produced Swiss version of the Soviet PPSh-41... but with the inner workings of a Swiss clock! No kidding, he mated the toggle action (sideways, not upward) to a recoil barrel and put the magazine up top to the right! The complexity of design started in 1940 and took until 1944 to get developed and issued! By that time it was not needed at all! A total of 4800 were made in 5 years, under 1000/yr. In Germany, Erma made 250,000 MP-40s in 1943 alone and in Britain ONE factory made 20,000 Stens per month by comparison!!! Swiss soldiers feared the weapon which not only performed terribly, but there were also a lack of spare parts and no real way to maintain or repair that weapon unless shipped back to the factory! The MP41/44 just added a foregrip which was superficial given its poor performance and handling. In battle the SMG would have been next to useless b/c it could not take the wear and one had better not drop it. This weapon was so bad that SMG expert Timothy J. Mullin did NOT even bother to cover it in his extensive SMG book!!!
SMG toggle use
waste of time

Swiss MP41 was no good
Mauser matin’
Toggle shift hatin’

Were no doubts about it
Design was unsound
Over-complexity
Took 5 years to pass the guns around

[Production should have been shut-down]

SMG toggle use
waste of time
Of mind…

Made so few
Made so few
Made so few
Just 900 a year
Couldn’t get spares
Poor accuracy
Issue caused fear

[Couldn’t take wear]

Worst SMG
SMG toggle use
waste of time
(Most complex internal mechanisms ever seen)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - October 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Have you ever looked up P.A. Luty on the internet? He came up with an SMG design so simple it could be built with parts from a British hardware store. Got him 4 years in one of Her Majesty's public housing projects.
Rob Arndt - October 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks Patrick, I'll look him up. The top SMGs of all-time that are still around seem to be the incredibly versatile HK MP-5, Beretta M12, and Uzi... although there is a move towards small, compact PDWs now like the HK MP-7. Furrer's twon toggle designs are just ridiculous for complexity, especially in a war situation. Switzerland needed them just in case the Germans crossed the border in force and nothing was available...
Rob Arndt - October 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Furrer (W+F) MP41/44 with foregrip: http://www.forgottenweapons.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/DSCI0060.jpg Furrer (W+F) M25 LMG with toggle action: http://www.regimentals.jp/auto/9fd7ab8eac2089681c329cd2d0a06b8f.jpg
Rob Arndt - October 25, 2012 - Report this comment
OK, saw the Luty and recognized it- one of the "Expedient" designs! Hey Patrick, do you remember the WW2 Polish Resistance weapons- the Blyskawica SMG? http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/smg/smg144/blyskawica.jpg

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