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Song Parodies -> "New Stuka Thus Improved"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"New Stuka Thus Improved"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Ju-87 Stuka was one of the Germans best war weapons despite vunerabilities exposed in the Battle of Britain. Although slow and easy prey for fast fighters, it still was the most terrifying and accurate dive bomber of WW2- bar none. It caused hardened gunners to flee with the sound of its air sirens and took out masses of tanks, armor, troops, and obstacles. But by 1942 a new version was slated to enter service- the Ju-187. This was a more streamlined design that eliminated the fixed gear in favor of retractable ones. More guns were added: 2x 13mm MG-131s in the wing roots + 2x 20mm MG-151/20s in a rear gunner remote-controlled system. To open up the field of fire unobstructed, the tail could turn 180o to become inverted! The powerplant was upgraded to a 1750 hp Jumo 213A with a three-blade prop raising cruise speed from 186 mph to 250 mph. Extra armor plating was added for protection with bullet proof glass. The Ju-187 underwent wind tunnel testing and made it to full mock-up and instrumentation phase before the RLM just cancelled it late in 1941 for no apparent reason. The new Stuka would have been a more deadly threat and able to fight back against Allied fighters much better. It also increased its bombload to 2000kg! But sadly... not to be :(
New Stuka thus improved
aero-refined

Ready for combat in ‘42
Guns attachin’
Main gear retractin’

A much faster bandit
Jumo spinnin’ round
Weapon load more heavy
Would be much harder to shoot down

[Revolving tail would move around]

New Stuka thus improved
aero-refined
Streamlined

Higher cruise
Higher cruise
Higher cruise
250 mph
More of a scare
More armor plating
More firepower

[Diving shallower]

Casualty
New Stuka thus improved
aero-refined
(Victim of bad planning)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - November 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Ju-187 pics: http://www.luft46.com/junkers/ju187-3.jpg http://www.luft46.com/junkers/ju187-4.jpg http://www.luft46.com/junkers/ju187-5.jpg http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Bu2MvID6kBQ/TK4t7WkqAjI/AAAAAAAAAqI/7AhXFnyAsVo/s1600/Junkers%20Ju%20187.jpg

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