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Song Parodies -> "Nuke howitzer- What Use?"
Original Song Title:
"I Put a Spell on You"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Parody Song Title:
"Nuke howitzer- What Use?"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
Another absurd weapon of the '50s obssesed with atomic weapons. This time it was the 280mm M65 "Atomic Annie" nuclear howitzer that could throw a 15 kt round to a max range of 19 miles. Only 1 test round was ever fired in anger to 7 miles and scared the crap out of the troops and civilians alike with nightmares of "the new face of modern warfare". It weighed 88 tons and had to have support bulldozers with it when it got off the road to make a path for it for set-up! It was feared that it would be used in desperation against masses of armored vehicles closing in and would be fired much like the Davy Crockett nuke bazooka- to hold a line with mushroom clouds! Twenty were made but never used as sanity ultimately prevailed! The naming "Atomic Annie" is a rip-off of the German WW2 railway gun "Anzio Annie"... except that the 280 mm German cannon had a range of 40-53 miles depending on the shell :)
Nuke howitzer- what use?
Hold the line???
“Atomic Annie” was bad news
88 tons
A 280 (mm) gun
M65 bandit
15 kt round
Short range it was deadly
Proximity to fire was unsound
[Overrun if forces massed around]
Nuke howitzer- what use?
Hold the line???
Short time?
Of no use
Of no use
Of no use
Only fired one test round
The troops were scared
Not of the enemy
… but Mushroom Cloud!
[The BOOM was LOUD!!!]
Sanity
Nuke howitzer- what use?
Hold the line???
(US made 20, canceled abruptly)
Hold the line???
“Atomic Annie” was bad news
88 tons
A 280 (mm) gun
M65 bandit
15 kt round
Short range it was deadly
Proximity to fire was unsound
[Overrun if forces massed around]
Nuke howitzer- what use?
Hold the line???
Short time?
Of no use
Of no use
Of no use
Only fired one test round
The troops were scared
Not of the enemy
… but Mushroom Cloud!
[The BOOM was LOUD!!!]
Sanity
Nuke howitzer- what use?
Hold the line???
(US made 20, canceled abruptly)
http://media.moddb.com/images/downloads/1/38/37058/Grable_knockhole.jpg
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User Comments
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I remember seeing a model for the "Atomic Cannon" at a neighborhood hobby shop -- the same place i saw a model for the ONTOS. I didn't realize the thing weighed so much, although the fact that it needed to huge tractors fore and aft to move it should have given me a clue. ... And why was the range of this 280mm weapon only a fraction of the German railway gun. My guess would be the atomic shell was much heavier than a conventional one
There really is no comparison between a huge long-range railway gun and a heavy short-range field howitzer. The K5 German gun weighed 215 tons and fired a 563 lb shell. It had a longer barrel, rifling, and fired pre-rifled shells, the latter types being rocket-assisted. The 310mm version would have fired the Peenemunde Arrow Projectile to 93 miles!!!
They could have issued each soldier a pistol and told him to shoot himself, it would have been faster and less painful than radiation poisoning. Didn't the Air Force draw up plans for a B-36 with a nuclear reactor on board?
Of course ... there is a difference between howitzer and an artillery piece called a gun. I imagine that it would have been almost impossible for any kind of wheeled vehicle to absorb the recoil of an 11 in gun; hence the need for a railway car
Patrick, look for NB-36H tomorrow. Meanwhile, here is a model of the WW2 German Skoda-Kauba Hyperschall Atomflugzeug that was to attain 10,000 mph:
http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/6370/skodakaubaatom.jpg
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