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Song Parodies -> "Cosmonaut Space Gun-True?"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Cosmonaut Space Gun-True?"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

From 1996-2007 Russian Cosmonauts carried with them a survival gun- the TP-82. This odd weapon was three-barreled with 2x .40 gauge shotgun barrels and a 5.45 x 39mm barrel. The butt also held a machete! The explanation for this was in case the crew landed in hostile territory and had to fight off "animals". More likely it was a form of defensive weapon to protect Russian tech/property much like the German bomber crews that carried Drillings in WW2. But this is nothing new as Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin in 1961 carried a Makarov pistol with the same explanation. But most agree it was a suicide weapon in case anything went wrong and the Cosmonaut was trapped in space with limited air supply or would face burning alive in the atmosphere if the shielding failed or if it came in at an odd angle that served to roast the Cosmonaut alive. What is even more disturbing are the persistant rumors that the Russians are developing a new weapon that is part blinding laser and also fires 7mm rocket projectiles which means it will not be a survival weapon but a space gun for military action. Cosmonaut against Astronaut or Taikonaut???
Cosmonaut space gun-true?
combo type

Weird weapon, TP-82
Non-space testin’
Survival weapon

Wrong spot- couldn’t chance it
Armed for hostile ground
Triple ammo deadly
Twin .40 gauge and 5.45 (mm) rounds

[Machete in butt to cut… X???… down]

Cosmonaut space gun-true?
combo type
(for) Earth fights?

Nothing new
Nothing new
Nothing new
Gagarin had a gun
Took it up THERE
For emergency
In ‘61

[Suicide gun]

Shocking?
Cosmonaut space gun-true?
combo type
(Rocket guns now stocking!!!)



http://www.armoryblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/russian-TP-82.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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AFW - November 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Amazing gift of knowledge....I imagine you do a lot of research on the web...but, you still have to know what to look up...you should try to become a contestant on Jeopardy, or The Millionaire show.
Rob Arndt - November 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks AFW... but not everything is on the wed either! I know a lot of those things too :)
Patrick - November 12, 2012 - Report this comment
I've seen a photo online of Vladimir Komorov who died when his shields malfunctioned during reentry from earth orbit. There is a lengthy Wikipedia article about the "Lost Cosmonaut" theory, that the Soviets covered up a number of fatalities in their space program.

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