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Song Parodies -> "Hey Big Fenders!"

Original Song Title:

"Hey Big Spender"

Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey

Parody Song Title:

"Hey Big Fenders!"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics


Mr. Spock, an off-world gin joint and an exotic alien gal with an intractable ear fetish---what could go song? ~~ YouTube version here.
~

The second you beamed in the joint
( ~~~vzzzzzz-Pffft!)
I could sense those awesome ears of distinction
Sublime 'skull-fenders'!

Suave greenies,
Lobes so fine!
Yours're the aural-y organs
Shat should sell on Price Line!

I wanna get tight with those 'points'
('beammmms'Zuppp!)

I don't hanker for your wan-ker, no sir-eeeee!

HEY, BIG 'FENDERS'!
Laaaaaay....those perfect pinnas*
on ME!
(warp-dee warp-dee, Woof!)


{ bridge (no, really, The Bridge!) }

Do you want some wet ones?
...ones
.....ones!
From the tips my forked... tongues?
.......yums!
Tivo'd all your re-RUNs,
but, honey--
DON'T go 'Gere'--
I'd HATE to contemPLATE a gerbil ROMP in yer-ears!


The second you Q-tipped those beauts
(ker-Plop!)
THIS nymph fainted smellin' VUL-can ear-droppings,
A REAL mind bender!

Très pungent!
Très bizarre!
Now shouldn't we start the 'meld'
n' take the 'Ponning' too Farr ?

So lemme lay down on those lobes
(ker-Thwop!)

I don't pop my cork for ev'ry pair o' DEES!

(da da da da da da da da da duh!)

YAY, BIG FEN - DERS !

DAY - GLO BEN - DERS !

HEY, BIG FEN - DERS !

LaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaYUH
yer perfect pinnas
on ME!

(warp-dee warp-dee, woof...
warp-dee warp-dee, WORF!)

{~ SPOKEN ~}

{SPOCK: *Worf* ?!! May I inquire as to your presence in *this* parody, Lieutenant ? Some sort of 'temporal' (heh!) rift, perhaps?

WORF: Sorry, Commander--guess I got my Generations kerfuffled ... Uh, does Klingon honor really require me kill myself now?

EXOTIC GAL: Spock, you honeyed hunk o' Valkyrie'n Vulcan --I'll be your au pair if you supply the, mmm, 'O'-pair!

SPOCK: Ahhhhh! In 'hindsight' it would appear you were actually requesting vigorous *aural*...sorry about that!}

~

* Pinna: The visible/external part of the ear, Latin for 'wing'

~

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Mark Scotti - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Beaming you down fives!! LOL!!!!!
alvin - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
fascinating, captain....you had me at "skull fenders"
Leo Keough - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Truly a Trek down mystery lane, as only you can do - 555!!!
unKnownVotress - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Sir, I do know about " skull fenders", as CowboyDave had them; Portuguese Rancheros called them Batwings . . . that's why he always wore his Stetson !
EmiLoca - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Thank god I'm not the only one who thinks doing Spock would be the ultimate bedroom conquest. :D "The Bridge"... you just don't stop, do you.
AFW - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
From the title, my first thought was the auto industry..this is even better..
Andy Primus - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Spocktacular hilarity - especially liked skull fenders
PMS - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
V V V
John Barry - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Trektacular.
Muriel Cigars - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Ripping off our commercial theme, are you? We'll see about that. And Shirley Bassey -- what is Peggy Lee, chopped liver? Well, "too Farr" was good, and the Gere-bil couplet produced a horde/hoard/whored of laughs (gerbil's cousin, hamster, coming from the German, "hamstern" = 'to hoard"), so have Five Cigars anyway.
TJC - May 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks dilithium loads, all! (I guess you know what the 'T' in TJC stands for now...)
And Muriel, appreciate it; awfully nice of you to emerge from the Clinton White House for a quick comment!
Muriel - May 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh, how I miss those days! I had this unique, fine aroma about me, unmatched by any competitor! And while smoking cigars has generally been considered a "guy thing", I gave quite a bit of pleasure to certain ladies as well... So sad to see my biggest fan leave the White House, but I was hoping that his successor, with a name like "Bush" ... but no, 'twaint to be... Maybe Mr. O. will give me a shot at Scarlett Johanssen!
TJC - May 17, 2009 - Report this comment
"Mr. 'O'"! LOL n' thanks, Muriel!

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