Here come the students of Robinson
This place ain't where they wanted to go
Dear me, no
They all got pooled off to Robinson
Their first choice was John's or Trinity
Tee hee hee, tee hee hee

I s'pose it's got some good points: from the centre it's not far
If you go over Garret Hostel Bridge
But that bridge slopes so steeply that for students it ain't meant
Drunk on a bike, you'll have a nasty accident

An ugly College is Robinson
Like a jail all built of dull red brick
Makes me sick
That's why for May Balls at Robinson
There are always tickets left to spare
Life ain't fair, life ain't fair

Cambridge Union's election guidelines say that you
Can't tell non-members about elections
But at Robinson all student pigeonholes are shared
That's why no Robinsonian makes it to the Chair

The open lectures at Robinson
In the Umney Theatre are a dull
Load of bull
Listen to them down at Robinson
In that warm room with the chairs so deep
You will sleep, you will sleep

Quite surprised I managed to construct a stereotype
Of a College so plain colourless
Literally - it hasn't any unique College hues
Just nicked Newnham's yellows, greys and blues

One last insult from the architect
Main entrance and Porter's Lodge exchanged
How deranged
As if to say about Robinson:
"Don't come in and certainly don't stay
Get away, get away."