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Song Parodies -> "Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel Fight!"
Original Song Title:
"Bridge Over Troubled Water"
Original Performer:
Simon and Garfunkel
Parody Song Title:
"Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel Fight!"
Parody Written by:
Red Ant
The Lyrics
Let me state first, I absolutely love S&G, this song and don't condone violence (think of this as a claymation fight set to music). [PS] are the lines sung by Paul Simon, [AG] are lines sung by Art Garfunkel, other words in brackets are visual clues and not sung.
[crowd cheering and 22 second piano intro]
[Paul and Simon are exchanging
heated words, then begin this song]
[AG] Paul you're puny, really small...
[PS] I challenge you..., to fight..,
[PS] I will kick them balls
[AG] not.....
[AG] Your half my size...
[PS] Art.. you've said enough...
[PS] I'll knock you on...the...ground...
[PS] Like a bitch I will bowl you over
[PS] I will knock you down
[AG] Not a chance... little puny Simon
[AG] You are quite the clown...
[a short fight ensues, Paul gets Art down]
[PS] Now you're down and I
[PS] Knocked you off your feet...
[PS] You took the fall...too bad...
[AG] I will come for you
[PS] Not....
[AG] I'll kick your ass...
[PS] Art... please don't get up...
[Art tries to get up, Paul kicks him in the nuts]
[AG] And PAIN! is all...I'VE... FOUND!...
[PS] You got kicked in your tender scrotum
[PS] I just layed you out..
[AG] I got kicked.. in my tender... scro-TU-U-U-M
[AG] He just layed me ou-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-out.....
[Art, holding his sack, starts crying during piano solo.
Paul starts making fun of him]
[PS] Flail on sissy girl..
[PS] Flail and cry...
[PS] Your time is up...tonight...
[Art is pissed now, gets up]
[AG] I'll have your head on a steak...
[AG] Your ass is mine....
[PS] NO-o-o-o-o-o.....
[PS] You won't be a friend?
[PS] I'm WAILING THAT.. BE..HIND...
[PS] And I'm kick..-ing that tender scrotum..
[PS] "Here's some piece of mind..."
[AG] I got KICKED...in my TE-enDER..scrotum...
[AG] And I sing so HI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I*
[AG] HIGH-ah-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I!!!!
[grand finale orchestra finish, Art is super pissed and
starts kicking Paul's ass, but that is another parody!]
[Paul and Simon are exchanging
heated words, then begin this song]
[AG] Paul you're puny, really small...
[PS] I challenge you..., to fight..,
[PS] I will kick them balls
[AG] not.....
[AG] Your half my size...
[PS] Art.. you've said enough...
[PS] I'll knock you on...the...ground...
[PS] Like a bitch I will bowl you over
[PS] I will knock you down
[AG] Not a chance... little puny Simon
[AG] You are quite the clown...
[a short fight ensues, Paul gets Art down]
[PS] Now you're down and I
[PS] Knocked you off your feet...
[PS] You took the fall...too bad...
[AG] I will come for you
[PS] Not....
[AG] I'll kick your ass...
[PS] Art... please don't get up...
[Art tries to get up, Paul kicks him in the nuts]
[AG] And PAIN! is all...I'VE... FOUND!...
[PS] You got kicked in your tender scrotum
[PS] I just layed you out..
[AG] I got kicked.. in my tender... scro-TU-U-U-M
[AG] He just layed me ou-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-out.....
[Art, holding his sack, starts crying during piano solo.
Paul starts making fun of him]
[PS] Flail on sissy girl..
[PS] Flail and cry...
[PS] Your time is up...tonight...
[Art is pissed now, gets up]
[AG] I'll have your head on a steak...
[AG] Your ass is mine....
[PS] NO-o-o-o-o-o.....
[PS] You won't be a friend?
[PS] I'm WAILING THAT.. BE..HIND...
[PS] And I'm kick..-ing that tender scrotum..
[PS] "Here's some piece of mind..."
[AG] I got KICKED...in my TE-enDER..scrotum...
[AG] And I sing so HI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I*
[AG] HIGH-ah-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I!!!!
[grand finale orchestra finish, Art is super pissed and
starts kicking Paul's ass, but that is another parody!]
copyright 2005+ Red Ant. *Art does sound like he got kicked in the scrotum to hit that note.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 3 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 5 | 2 | 3 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 30 | 31 | 31 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Highlarious! ....very funny scenario...you're a great fight promoter..five rounds
555, VERY original. Please note that on the cover of "The Best Of Simon And Garfunkel," Garfunkel is sitting down and he is still almost overtowering Paul. Paul is thusly always in the ideal position to land blows upon Garfunkel's scrotum. Poor Art, Paul seems to have won this round...
just imagining this slays me...great job...5s
This might be your best yet, Red Ant. Great visuals arise. Prob'ly be a better fight than most of Tyson's recent fiascos.
Just the whole concept has brought many mirthful tears..."Like a bitch, I will bowl you over" was genius..555
A knockout! 5s
On the one hand, Art, at his size, should clobber Paul. On the other hand, Art is the only one who's originally from Queens. Paul's from Newark, and anybody from the Devils' city could beat anybody from the Mets' Borough... You'll notice 50 Cent wears his bulletproof vest every time he comes to the Meadowlands, but five-foot-four Frankie Valli doesn't wear one at Forest Hills.
It's comin' up on Celebrity Death Match, I'll bet.
WAHAHAHAHA!!! Great stuff! Paul's got the advantage, though. His posse is Ladysmith Black Mombazo.
In the next scene, Ladysmith Black Mambozo hunt down Art and wail on his silly ass.....(j/k/)
Red Ant, I LOVE THIS! Definitely one of my favorites of yours. High fives.
Thanks AFW, YAD, Alvin, Dee, Kristof, John, Michael, Offender, Bob G, Agrimorfee and Rick C. I appreciate all of the wonderful comments. Oh, I tried to karaoke this but couldn't hit that last note until I racked myself, then it was perfect. =)
This is hilarious, Ant in Chains. "Like a bitch I will bowl you over" is a tremendous sub. Great visuals too.
Cool parody! On the S&G Greatest Hits album, Paul looks like that comedian Gallagher! Michael P: Newark probably wasn't so bad when Paul lived there...most of these Northeast cities didn't crash and burn until the 70's. (It's not like white people were livin in the "hood"...these used to be white middle-class neighborhoods)
I loved that, Red Ant - what a funny idea - this would make a good video too - 555
I have a Beta fish on my desk, who is named Simon. I've often joked about getting another Beta, named Garfunkel, and throwing them in a bowl together...just, you know, to see the two of them duke it out. Alas, now I don't have to...=)
Third parody to make me laugh today, it's so great! 555. =)
Thanks Spaff, Chuck, Stu , Arwen (lol), and Step-chan.
That was sick... and wrong... and oh boy, absolutely brilliant. Love it! 5s!
This was clever and funny at its absolute best!! I rwally loved it! 5's
Thanks you Sweet Indigo (you're right!) and Adagio.
(SOTM) Already commented....still a 'hehe' one. :)
Red - haven't been around the site much lately...This is beyond most superlatives I can think of...yeah..."like a bitch I will bowl you over" is the best line...It must have been a huge temptation to make that your parody title...but I think the general overview title here works better and certainly piques a title scanning reader's curiousity to the max...5's ~ ~ ~
Creative and hilarious, Red Ant, and I agree with your footnote. I also think you meant head on a "stake," not "steak," ... but maybe not.
Thanks Pat, Paul and John.
Paul, yeah, that crossed my mind but since I varied that chorus line I went for what would be a more interesting title. I'm wondering how many people checked this out just to see how I got the title to scan lol.
John, "stake" was what I was shooting for, spell-check didn't catch it and neither did I. "Steak" works too, as in Paul Simon's head as garnish. ;-)
Paul, yeah, that crossed my mind but since I varied that chorus line I went for what would be a more interesting title. I'm wondering how many people checked this out just to see how I got the title to scan lol.
John, "stake" was what I was shooting for, spell-check didn't catch it and neither did I. "Steak" works too, as in Paul Simon's head as garnish. ;-)
(SOTM) Sorry DKTOS, but it sounded very funny lol, i will take everyones word for it with the pacing
SOTM--yep, I still love this. Very very funny...I sang it to my afore mentioned Beta fish, and he got pretty excited about it, too...; )
(SOTM) see above
Thanks Josh2, Arwen, and Agrimorfee.
SOTM - There's no guarantee that it will still be there when YOU (Whoever you are) read this, but I found the original song here:
www.dougie.uk.com/simon and garfunkel - bridge over troubled water.mp3 (I figure most people will know this one and 5 it anyway though).
www.dougie.uk.com/simon and garfunkel - bridge over troubled water.mp3 (I figure most people will know this one and 5 it anyway though).
(SOTM) Still think this is hilarious!
SOTM - you corrupted one of my favorite S&G songs! But it's OK, you did a good job of it.
(SOTM) see above, and very funny - that puts the "troubled" into troubled waters alright, Red Ant
(SOTM) Wow, a climactic battle between the two Dork Lords! Very original, Red Ant.
SOTM - I can easily imagine this. I guess I am not an S&G fan... ;-)
(SOTM) 3 5's for you and an ice pack for Art.
What Spaff said. And more kudos on the stage directions.
What Spaff said that Spaff said - though I don't know how I missed this first time around: you'd be too young (and living the wrong side of the Atlantic, IIRC) to remember "Not the Nine O'Clock News", who did a song called "Here's Hoping" on a very similar theme as a S&G "genre parody" rather than a parody of an actual song - if you do get the chance to listen, you'll find it very amusing. As was this :-)
Hilarious. I too was a big fan of "Celebrity Deathmatch". I'm gonna copy and paste my favorite part now: "tender... scro-TU-U-U-M". I can just hear it. Yow.
(SOTM) My fave of the month...obviously, as Christmas approaches, my affinity with wanton violence escalates. This was top-notch funny
SOTM....see above comment....still great!
(SOTM) this is pretty ridiculous, and possibly spaffesque. Which are good things. 555 for you - hope that'll persuade you not to kick me in the tender...
Thanks Peter, Rick C, wbmj, Stu, Johnny D, Tim, Scathe, Spaff, Phil, Claude, Kristof, Dee and Ethan.
(SOTY 05) Dukin' it out against all the other competitors...
(SOTM 2005) I'm sure I'd appreciate this more if I were a little older. Still a chortle and a half.
What Philbo said about what somebody else said. And thanx, Ethan, for the compliment. And more kudos, Ant in Chains, for this visual, visceral gem. It's not every day you see "tender scrotum" as a sub for "troubled water." I saw S&G in concert a while back; while I did, in fact, love it, I kinda would've liked to see THIS for their final encore.
Third Place
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,14357.0.html
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,14357.0.html
Thanks Agrimorfee, Luke and Spaff.
Red Ant, keep it up. You're doing great! You're like Dennis Leary but without the profanity. You're hillarious! I for one am sorry for what I've said about you in the past. You're one of the best editors in the world- you should write for Mad Magazine.
Oh, my, those two sure do know how to squabble, don't they? As an avid Simon and Garfunkel fan, this made me laugh - though I hope they're playing a little nicer now! I'm holding out for a park bench concert after Art turns 70 next November... Nice job!
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