Song Parodies -> "We're Hittin' Buttons 'Fore Christmas"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas"

Original Performer:

[S. Tepper, R. Bennett (c) 1955]

Parody Song Title:

"We're Hittin' Buttons 'Fore Christmas"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

We're hittin' Buttons 'fore Christmas,
He made our God-Daddy mad.
He's gettin' somethin' 'fore Christmas,
'Cause he's doin' somethin' what's bad.

Al broke his bat on Johnny's head, [1]
Because he switched his team.
Woltz found horse head within his bed, [2]
Wouldn’t give Frank a scene.
They wrapped a fink up in a rug,
Then dumped body of this thug,
Hit some bum with a fifty slug.
No bodies ditched for free.

We're hittin' Buttons 'fore Christmas,
He made our God-Daddy mad.
He's gettin' somethin' 'fore Christmas,
'Cause he's doin' somethin' what's bad.

They do contracts to teach and scare,
Nobody snitches, see.
A tight garrote in snoozy chair,
One half-hitch does nicely.
We free lance into high finance,
Stake them one pay-day advance,
Int'rest goes for "college grants".
We're gettin' rich for free.

We're hittin' Buttons 'fore Christmas,
He made our God-Daddy mad.
He's gettin' somethin' 'fore Christmas,
'Cause he's doin' somethin' what's bad.

We pay no heed to legal cause,
Scratch our own itch you see.
We will not enlist legal clause,
Unless gotta switch out plea.
Twelve years plead it down to eight;
Two years I'll be up at state,
Unless witness turns up "late";
One body ditched, I'm free.

In the brother of hood,
Whatever you do,
There's no "My Bads", and warnin's few,
'Swhy's hittin' Buttons 'fore Christmas.

[1] Al's Big Hit

[2] HEY!!! iz fer hororses

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alvin - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment

too funny...i'm picturing a hobby horse head stuffed into a stocking

Rick C - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment

Ah yes, Christmas...a time when families should come together. 555

Carmine (2-LOUD) Boccotesta - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment

HEY-E Ovah 'Eah Huh? - Dese iz da kina guyz wutz doin da hitz on ol Buttons watz I needs in my organizashun. Buttons wuz a rottin fink an desoives wut hees gitz even tho he finked ta me. I hates ratz an toin coats. Eh, they iz gude fer one maybe two skrew toins an den itz times ta letz em goes. Ya jus cant trus a guy wut betraded hiz own - Hey ya ketchin' my drif ovah 'eah? Fer da cuppla a gran I gave em itz woith id in da retoins on da invesmends. So Buttons iz gonna miss Christmas - itz jus bizness. 2-LOUD outta 'eah.

Parody Pete - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment

I like it, it's Soprano-ish

John Jenkins - November 29, 2007 - Report this comment

You are the master of mafia parodies, and this is another fine opus. Also, fine job with the YouTube references.

littleCupCakes - December 14, 2007 - Report this comment

Sir Guy, you are indeed the master of these 'Merican mafia Parodies! I am a SoPRANo fan, as soon as I was able to 'get past' the dirty talk!! And Tony reminds me so much of my Dad. James Gondolfini is a sexy man in my book!

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