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Song Parodies -> "Fortnite"
Original Song Title:
"Fortnight"
Original Performer:
Taylor Swift ft. Post Malone
Parody Song Title:
"Fortnite"
Parody Written by:
the_conqueror_of_parodies
The Lyrics
Part of my "Blame It on the Whiskey" self-challenge. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night...a good Fortnite, that is! Please hold your applause and/or grenades.
It's not somethin' I've ever played but hey, that isn't that new with me
Because I've never been into games that go forever with no plot to be ended (no endin', no)
Check in ev'ry day feels like such a drain but there's a reason:
If you don't come and play, you'll never get the skins this season
I don't play Fortnite, no plans whatsoever
Don't wanna game online, I play solo better
There the only asshole is a rude programmer
Go and make your towers, you murder-builders
Drop a hundred dancing gun-nuts in a contest funerary
Where does the circle of death come from? Doubt the plot's that necessary
Time to gun dudes until there's just one guy, that one dude must be a good gun guy
And once you've won a round of Fortnite, then what, dude? I said what, dude?
Then it's more Fortnite, there's V-Bucks to gather
That's your in-game cash, I think the concept's rather
Deceptive, it masks up the microtransactions
More reason to not click this "free-to-play" schtick
That's more than Fortnite, fair, that trap's wherever
Games are found, it's just I think of it whenever
I read the word "lootbox", hate to be a gambler
So I will be leaving this whole game unclicked
Don't want you to come into my life, it's not you, the problem is all mine
That's not true, got problems with Fortnite, damn boxed loot, hate boxed loot
Those of you who are a fan, that's fine, won't mock you for this, 'cause it ain't right
Won't mock you for playing some Fortnite, it's for you, it's for you
Can't be mockin' ya because I was stuck not in Fortnite but in a zombie plot
Always loggin' on to plant all day long and I couldn't stop, had to pult, pult, pult peas
Won't be mocking ya for your sort of fun, won't play Fortnite but you can if you want
Rack the scoring up, buy the skins you want, dance emote it up as you gun, gun, gun dudes
Because I've never been into games that go forever with no plot to be ended (no endin', no)
Check in ev'ry day feels like such a drain but there's a reason:
If you don't come and play, you'll never get the skins this season
I don't play Fortnite, no plans whatsoever
Don't wanna game online, I play solo better
There the only asshole is a rude programmer
Go and make your towers, you murder-builders
Drop a hundred dancing gun-nuts in a contest funerary
Where does the circle of death come from? Doubt the plot's that necessary
Time to gun dudes until there's just one guy, that one dude must be a good gun guy
And once you've won a round of Fortnite, then what, dude? I said what, dude?
Then it's more Fortnite, there's V-Bucks to gather
That's your in-game cash, I think the concept's rather
Deceptive, it masks up the microtransactions
More reason to not click this "free-to-play" schtick
That's more than Fortnite, fair, that trap's wherever
Games are found, it's just I think of it whenever
I read the word "lootbox", hate to be a gambler
So I will be leaving this whole game unclicked
Don't want you to come into my life, it's not you, the problem is all mine
That's not true, got problems with Fortnite, damn boxed loot, hate boxed loot
Those of you who are a fan, that's fine, won't mock you for this, 'cause it ain't right
Won't mock you for playing some Fortnite, it's for you, it's for you
Can't be mockin' ya because I was stuck not in Fortnite but in a zombie plot
Always loggin' on to plant all day long and I couldn't stop, had to pult, pult, pult peas
Won't be mocking ya for your sort of fun, won't play Fortnite but you can if you want
Rack the scoring up, buy the skins you want, dance emote it up as you gun, gun, gun dudes
...all these months later and "Taylor Swift ft. Post Malone" still makes no sense. Maybe it'd make more sense if Post wasn't apparently recording on the other side of the studio, I can barely hear him!
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Father Lectures 'Fortnite'-Addicted Son On Need To Play Better Games
https://babylonbee.com/news/father-lectures-fortnite-addicted-son-on-need-to-play-better-games
WHEELING, WV - Saying that the talk was "long overdue," local father Kyle Smith finally sat down with his Fortnite-addicted son in order to lecture him on his need to play much better video games.
The father gently but firmly reminded his son that his childhood time is precious, and that he shouldn't waste it playing an incredibly boring battle royale game, when he could be playing actually good video games.
"You could be playing Half-Life 2, Ocarina of Time, or Final Fantasy VII right now," the father said sternly. "Now let's go boot up my gaming PC and get you some emulators so you can play the classics. You'll thank me later." He continued to explain to his son Fortnite's many mechanical shortcomings, such as its long stretches of game time where absolutely nothing happens and its emphasis on style over substantive gameplay.
"Come on, son. You have a problem. It's time to let it go," he said before taking the iPad from his kid and ushering him toward his high-end gaming rig.
Smith's son, Samuel, reacted with confusion upon playing Half-Life 2 for the first time. He quickly began building forts out of wooden boxes in the game, rather than advancing through City 17 as the game designers intended. "Where are the other players, dad?" he said, puzzled. "And can I buy a better skin for this guy? What button do I press to dance? Where's Thanos?"
"It will be a long road to recovery," his father told reporters as he subjected his son to a barrage of treatments including Super Mario 64, Breath of the Wild, and Fallout: New Vegas. "But with the love and support of his friends and family, I know Sam can kick his Fortnite habit and replace it with much better games."
https://babylonbee.com/news/father-lectures-fortnite-addicted-son-on-need-to-play-better-games
WHEELING, WV - Saying that the talk was "long overdue," local father Kyle Smith finally sat down with his Fortnite-addicted son in order to lecture him on his need to play much better video games.
The father gently but firmly reminded his son that his childhood time is precious, and that he shouldn't waste it playing an incredibly boring battle royale game, when he could be playing actually good video games.
"You could be playing Half-Life 2, Ocarina of Time, or Final Fantasy VII right now," the father said sternly. "Now let's go boot up my gaming PC and get you some emulators so you can play the classics. You'll thank me later." He continued to explain to his son Fortnite's many mechanical shortcomings, such as its long stretches of game time where absolutely nothing happens and its emphasis on style over substantive gameplay.
"Come on, son. You have a problem. It's time to let it go," he said before taking the iPad from his kid and ushering him toward his high-end gaming rig.
Smith's son, Samuel, reacted with confusion upon playing Half-Life 2 for the first time. He quickly began building forts out of wooden boxes in the game, rather than advancing through City 17 as the game designers intended. "Where are the other players, dad?" he said, puzzled. "And can I buy a better skin for this guy? What button do I press to dance? Where's Thanos?"
"It will be a long road to recovery," his father told reporters as he subjected his son to a barrage of treatments including Super Mario 64, Breath of the Wild, and Fallout: New Vegas. "But with the love and support of his friends and family, I know Sam can kick his Fortnite habit and replace it with much better games."
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