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Song Parodies -> "If I Were Ozzy Osbourne!"
Original Song Title:
"If I Where A Rich Man"
Original Performer:
Tevoy
Parody Song Title:
"If I Were Ozzy Osbourne!"
Parody Written by:
Alex Zander
The Lyrics
If I were ozzy osbourne,
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
The Dogs have shat in the house again!
On the antique carpet rug!.
Sharon could clean it up.
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
If I were a mummble, mummble prince,
Mummble, Mummble Mummble of Darkness.
I'd build a Gothic house with rooms by the dozen,
Right in the middle of the Los Angels.
A disney pool with real artifical rocks.
There would be one room for me with a bed tv,
And kelly's room have its own lounge,
And Jack's that would be decked out all in black.
I'd fill my house with dogs and puppies and cats and kittens
For MTV to see and hear.
And each loud "Woof" and "eck" and "puke" and "shit"
Would clean up the shit on tv too not for fun, you've all been had
As if to say "Im love you all but your all F**king mad!"
If I were ozzy osbourne,
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
The Dogs have shat in my house again!
On the antique carpet rug!.
Sharon could clean it up.
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
If I were a mummble, mummble prince,
Mummble, Mummble Mummble of Darkness.
I see my wife, Sharon, looking like a bewildered wife
Wait she's got my credit cards.
She has been shopping in gucci oh no!.
I see her pulling up with bags of shopping.
Oy, what a happy mood she's in.
wait she spent how much, What! Sharon!.
I am the prince of darkness in the world worship me!
I would rock this place,
Like the god of thunder.
"Bubbles i F**king hate bubbles..."
"Sharon! im the prince of darkness"
Posing drug problems that would cross my eyes!
And it won't make one bit of difference if i mummbled what or huh?.
When you're rich, they think you really know!
If I were Ozzy, I'd have the time to walk the dog pissed
To sit and laugh inconvinantly.
And maybe try to work the dvd player.
And I'd discuss the holy books with satan, several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.
If I were ozzy osbourne,
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
The Dogs have shat in my house again!
On the antique carpet rug!.
Sharon could clean it up.
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
If I were a mummble, mummble prince,
Mummble, Mummble Mummble of Darkness.
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
The Dogs have shat in the house again!
On the antique carpet rug!.
Sharon could clean it up.
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
If I were a mummble, mummble prince,
Mummble, Mummble Mummble of Darkness.
I'd build a Gothic house with rooms by the dozen,
Right in the middle of the Los Angels.
A disney pool with real artifical rocks.
There would be one room for me with a bed tv,
And kelly's room have its own lounge,
And Jack's that would be decked out all in black.
I'd fill my house with dogs and puppies and cats and kittens
For MTV to see and hear.
And each loud "Woof" and "eck" and "puke" and "shit"
Would clean up the shit on tv too not for fun, you've all been had
As if to say "Im love you all but your all F**king mad!"
If I were ozzy osbourne,
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
The Dogs have shat in my house again!
On the antique carpet rug!.
Sharon could clean it up.
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
If I were a mummble, mummble prince,
Mummble, Mummble Mummble of Darkness.
I see my wife, Sharon, looking like a bewildered wife
Wait she's got my credit cards.
She has been shopping in gucci oh no!.
I see her pulling up with bags of shopping.
Oy, what a happy mood she's in.
wait she spent how much, What! Sharon!.
I am the prince of darkness in the world worship me!
I would rock this place,
Like the god of thunder.
"Bubbles i F**king hate bubbles..."
"Sharon! im the prince of darkness"
Posing drug problems that would cross my eyes!
And it won't make one bit of difference if i mummbled what or huh?.
When you're rich, they think you really know!
If I were Ozzy, I'd have the time to walk the dog pissed
To sit and laugh inconvinantly.
And maybe try to work the dvd player.
And I'd discuss the holy books with satan, several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.
If I were ozzy osbourne,
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
The Dogs have shat in my house again!
On the antique carpet rug!.
Sharon could clean it up.
Mummble, Mummble, couff, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Mummble, Sharon!
If I were a mummble, mummble prince,
Mummble, Mummble Mummble of Darkness.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 4 | 5 | 5 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I don't care if the pacing is off in places! This parody made me actually, physically, laugh out loud! It's a hilarious scream --- oh man this is funny --- 555, well done, Alex, this is a barrel of laughs! ;-D
I can recall Sharon saying she was half-Jewish in the 'Ordinary People' book, and talking about life with her father, Don Arden, and this fits in with the general madness.
+++Restoring vote lost due to 7-28-04 Amiright vote-history bug+++
The pacing is off completely, but A) It's a hard song to parody, and B) It's f---in' Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince o' F---in' Darkness! In his case, and I know this is gonna soun like a Yogi Berra line, if the pacing were perfect, it would be completely wrong!
JMJ Thanks to Mike for straightening me out on the pacing. Riotously funny. BTW, my best friend should get credit and some Benjamins for The Osbornes. When Ozz was on VH1's Rockumentaries, I distinctly remember him saying that he wishes someone would just follow him with a camera into a convenience store, trying to pump gas, trying to light the grill on Labor Day. He said that would be first class entertainment. Remember where the idea came from.
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