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Song Parodies -> "The First Advance"
Original Song Title:
"The First Attack"
Original Performer:
The Cast Of Les Miserables
Parody Song Title:
"The First Advance"
Parody Written by:
Glynn Leaney
The Lyrics
Part 40 of "The Unfortunates" is the start of the march, as opposed to the start of the attack in the original, and Connor is unhappy with Travers for releasing his past to the press.
THE FIRST ADVANCE
Thomas
Have this and wave it high!
Once off there’ll be no turning back,
I trust you’re not a spy!
Workers
Hundreds of coppers blocking the way ahead I see!
More behind them, armed with riot shields!
Thomas
GO!
Fred
Fireworks!
(The workers march towards the police cordon)
Lesley
They’re in the bloody way!
Grant
We’re going to make them pay!
Thomas
We all need to keep calm,
I don’t want any harm.
I don’t know who you are
And I don’t really care,
But you’re doing OK
And you do seem to care.
Dan
I said that I could help
And there’s something that I can do.
Thomas
And what is that, my friend?
Dan
That chief inspector there,
I can take care of him.
Travers
I know you from somewhere;
You work for our MP.
Dan
You’re right, that’s what I do.
He wants a word with you.
He’s currently off on vacation, but I have him on the phone.
I wouldn’t be in your position,
Prepare to face a blast…
(Dan hands the phone to Travers)
Connor
That you Travers?
Travers
It is, and to what do I owe
This call from you?
Is there something I don’t know?
Connor
I’ve heard it said
You went and talked to the press.
Travers
You don’t understand…
Connor
Understand what?
Travers
It makes good news,
I’m telling you…
Connor
Telling me what?
Travers
Once a con, then always a con!
It’s really quite beyond belief
As how you got to where you are.
You once were nothing but a thief
And that was not so long ago.
The public has the right to know
Your story now, blow by blow!
Connor
What an arse! You have got it all wrong.
I have changed, and not the man I was.
Once set free, I set myself conditions
To alter my position.
It’s taken me a lot of time
But I’m the one who now fights crime.
You won’t come out of this too well, I promise.
Now give that phone back to young Dan there
And I’ll see you on my return.
(Dan retrieves the phone, Travers disappears)
Thomas
Colin, watch where you go,
We don’t want trouble over here.
Everyone be on their guard
And don’t go drinking too much beer!
There’s enough to cheer
Just think of your career!
Thomas
Have this and wave it high!
Once off there’ll be no turning back,
I trust you’re not a spy!
Workers
Hundreds of coppers blocking the way ahead I see!
More behind them, armed with riot shields!
Thomas
GO!
Fred
Fireworks!
(The workers march towards the police cordon)
Lesley
They’re in the bloody way!
Grant
We’re going to make them pay!
Thomas
We all need to keep calm,
I don’t want any harm.
I don’t know who you are
And I don’t really care,
But you’re doing OK
And you do seem to care.
Dan
I said that I could help
And there’s something that I can do.
Thomas
And what is that, my friend?
Dan
That chief inspector there,
I can take care of him.
Travers
I know you from somewhere;
You work for our MP.
Dan
You’re right, that’s what I do.
He wants a word with you.
He’s currently off on vacation, but I have him on the phone.
I wouldn’t be in your position,
Prepare to face a blast…
(Dan hands the phone to Travers)
Connor
That you Travers?
Travers
It is, and to what do I owe
This call from you?
Is there something I don’t know?
Connor
I’ve heard it said
You went and talked to the press.
Travers
You don’t understand…
Connor
Understand what?
Travers
It makes good news,
I’m telling you…
Connor
Telling me what?
Travers
Once a con, then always a con!
It’s really quite beyond belief
As how you got to where you are.
You once were nothing but a thief
And that was not so long ago.
The public has the right to know
Your story now, blow by blow!
Connor
What an arse! You have got it all wrong.
I have changed, and not the man I was.
Once set free, I set myself conditions
To alter my position.
It’s taken me a lot of time
But I’m the one who now fights crime.
You won’t come out of this too well, I promise.
Now give that phone back to young Dan there
And I’ll see you on my return.
(Dan retrieves the phone, Travers disappears)
Thomas
Colin, watch where you go,
We don’t want trouble over here.
Everyone be on their guard
And don’t go drinking too much beer!
There’s enough to cheer
Just think of your career!
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