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Song Parodies -> "How Did You Hire An Anchor Like Maria"
Original Song Title:
"How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria"
Original Performer:
The Nuns (The Sound of Music)
Parody Song Title:
"How Did You Hire An Anchor Like Maria"
Parody Written by:
cnbc's biggest fan
The Lyrics
I'm a huge fan of CNBC (a business TV channel which is based in the USA but has international studios and presenters) and my favourite presenter on it is Maria Bartiromo (anchor of US Closing Bell). I decided to write a song about her and thought that "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria" from the Sound of Music would work so I used it. Hope you enjoy it!
She's on TV and reports for CNBC
from the stock exchange
She rants from the NYSE floor
and whistles off the air
and underneath her hair
she hides her earpiece while on the air
I always heard her ranting on Wall Street
She's always on Squawk Box
and her dedication is real
She's never late for anything
'cos she's always on early
I really have to say it
but I very firmly feel
Maria is an asset to CNBC
How did you hire an anchor like Maria
How do you move the stocks and bring them down
How do you find a word that means Maria
A fibbertijibbet! A will-o' the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she always understands
But how do they make her say
All that the viewers want her to say
How do you keep people watching CNBC?
Oh, how did you hire an anchor like Maria
How did you get her on the exchange?
When she's on I'm less confused
Well focused and amused
But I never know exactly what she's on about
Unpredictable as the shares
She's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!
She'd outpester traders
Drive some viewers to Fox News
She could throw the markets out of line
She is gentle! She is wild!
She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache! She's an angel!
She's a girl
How did you hire an anchor like Maria
How do you move the stocks and bring them down
How do you find a word that means Maria
A fibbertijibbet! A will-o' the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she always understands
But how do they make her say
All that the viewers want her to say
How do you keep people watching CNBC?
Oh, how did you hire an anchor like Maria
How did you get her on the exchange?
from the stock exchange
She rants from the NYSE floor
and whistles off the air
and underneath her hair
she hides her earpiece while on the air
I always heard her ranting on Wall Street
She's always on Squawk Box
and her dedication is real
She's never late for anything
'cos she's always on early
I really have to say it
but I very firmly feel
Maria is an asset to CNBC
How did you hire an anchor like Maria
How do you move the stocks and bring them down
How do you find a word that means Maria
A fibbertijibbet! A will-o' the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she always understands
But how do they make her say
All that the viewers want her to say
How do you keep people watching CNBC?
Oh, how did you hire an anchor like Maria
How did you get her on the exchange?
When she's on I'm less confused
Well focused and amused
But I never know exactly what she's on about
Unpredictable as the shares
She's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!
She'd outpester traders
Drive some viewers to Fox News
She could throw the markets out of line
She is gentle! She is wild!
She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache! She's an angel!
She's a girl
How did you hire an anchor like Maria
How do you move the stocks and bring them down
How do you find a word that means Maria
A fibbertijibbet! A will-o' the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she always understands
But how do they make her say
All that the viewers want her to say
How do you keep people watching CNBC?
Oh, how did you hire an anchor like Maria
How did you get her on the exchange?
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | 2 | 3 | 2 |
User Comments
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I was going to say, "Ya, they hired her because her husband threatened to kill them if they didn't," then I realized you were talking about Bartiromo, not Shriver. Did you see her on "The McLaughlin Group" last Sunday? Let's just say if her understand of the average American's economic concerns were the equal of her hotness, she wouldn't have been predicting a good economy. (Yes, I know about the nose, and I don't care. I also noticed that the security code this time was "CZJ." The initials of someone who can give me a stock report anytime.)
This parody has sent the index up 15 points.
well, you grabbed me with the very clever title sub and idea, cnbc fan, but lost me on the rhymes and pacing, but I look forward to seeing waht you come up with next - 454
I' m glad u guys enjoyed my parody. I'm trying to work on another one @ the moment but I havent had time. I did it cos i realised nobody ever writes parodies about CNBC and i thought it would be something different. Keep those comments flowing guys!!! I really appreciate 'em!!
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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