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Song Parodies -> "Natty Nymph Loves To Be Public!"
Original Song Title:
"Battle Hymn of the Republic"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Natty Nymph Loves To Be Public!"
Parody Written by:
TJC
The Lyrics
Mine rise has seen the glory of the coming Traci Lords;
She is writhing on the counter where the tapes of nymphs are stored.
She hath loosed her lingual lightning on His au pare thrusting sword;
Un-couth! Ms. Arching Mons!
[chorus]
Tori! Corry! And Some Dude! Raw!
Whorey stories! Balls of blue! Yah!
Laurie's quarry's kind'a hugh! Ahhh!
Un-couth biz! Arching Mons!
I have seen her on her web site with her nether regions shorn;
Where they've guilded Her an altar in the Pantheon of Porn.
I can see there's insur-rection where her nipple rings adorn;
Un-couth! Ms. Arching Mons!
[chorus]
I have heard denunciations spoke in pulpits, writ in inks;
"If you're watchin' the 'Lords' movies, He may smite your manly links;
Let the spirochetes of woman, crush the serpent "til it shrinks!"
Un-couth! Ms. Arching Mons!
[chorus]
She has bounded forth our trumpets—we shall never call her "tease";
She is raising up the parts of men who view her DVD's;
Oh, be swift, my palm, and think of Her! Be jubilant, and squeeze!
This youth is starch blinged brawn."
[chorus]
Tori! Corry! And Some Dude! Raw!
Whorey stories! Balls of blue! Yah!
Laurie's quarry's kind'a hugh! Ahhh!
Un-couth biz! Arching Mons!
With her booty in "Shore Duty" Lords was splayed across the three,
Myths of glory in Her bosom (Silicone, to you and me);
As She writhes to make them rigid, we contrive SO-LO whoo-pee!
Ms. Cooch is larking onoffOnOFF. ONNNNNNN!
~ CUT! That's a wrap! ~
She is writhing on the counter where the tapes of nymphs are stored.
She hath loosed her lingual lightning on His au pare thrusting sword;
Un-couth! Ms. Arching Mons!
[chorus]
Tori! Corry! And Some Dude! Raw!
Whorey stories! Balls of blue! Yah!
Laurie's quarry's kind'a hugh! Ahhh!
Un-couth biz! Arching Mons!
I have seen her on her web site with her nether regions shorn;
Where they've guilded Her an altar in the Pantheon of Porn.
I can see there's insur-rection where her nipple rings adorn;
Un-couth! Ms. Arching Mons!
[chorus]
I have heard denunciations spoke in pulpits, writ in inks;
"If you're watchin' the 'Lords' movies, He may smite your manly links;
Let the spirochetes of woman, crush the serpent "til it shrinks!"
Un-couth! Ms. Arching Mons!
[chorus]
She has bounded forth our trumpets—we shall never call her "tease";
She is raising up the parts of men who view her DVD's;
Oh, be swift, my palm, and think of Her! Be jubilant, and squeeze!
This youth is starch blinged brawn."
[chorus]
Tori! Corry! And Some Dude! Raw!
Whorey stories! Balls of blue! Yah!
Laurie's quarry's kind'a hugh! Ahhh!
Un-couth biz! Arching Mons!
With her booty in "Shore Duty" Lords was splayed across the three,
Myths of glory in Her bosom (Silicone, to you and me);
As She writhes to make them rigid, we contrive SO-LO whoo-pee!
Ms. Cooch is larking onoffOnOFF. ONNNNNNN!
~ CUT! That's a wrap! ~
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| 5 | 11 | 11 | 11 |
User Comments
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More good lines than a guy could...er...shake a stick at...
Thanks Meriadoc! You understand, of course, this is all theoretical... I have absolutely no firsthand knowledge of Traci Lords or any media she may be associated with... you see...this friend told me about her... By the way, I had originally thought to have line two of stanza one read: "She is writhing on the dresser where the tapes of Spaff are stored" since so few things rhyme with " grapes of wrath", but didn't know how he'd take it!
That was friggin hilarious! 555+.
Glad to see a fellow Lords fan. She appears in my parody of The Raven....."The Wabbit" , about Elmer and Buggs. This is outlandishly good, and I believe the Spaffer would have loved to be included in it...High 5's
Muwahaha, loved it!
How would I take it? All the way to the bank, baby!
Great stuff, TJC. Parody lines just don't get much better than "Where they've guilded Her an altar in the Pantheon of Porn" and "She is raising up the parts of men who view her DVD's."
And speaking of "Glory Glory," you should start entering the Song Of The Month contests on the inthe00s.com messageboard.
Great stuff, TJC. Parody lines just don't get much better than "Where they've guilded Her an altar in the Pantheon of Porn" and "She is raising up the parts of men who view her DVD's."
And speaking of "Glory Glory," you should start entering the Song Of The Month contests on the inthe00s.com messageboard.
excellence abounds...wondrous wordplay
Lordy but this was funny!
Red Ant, Dee Range, Peregrin, Spaff, alvin and PMS: Thanks guys... your commentsencouragements mean a lot! And Spaff, didn't know you had to enter... thought it was just voted on (you know, Star Chamber style)! Also, where DO you store your tapes?
Very, very good. Bravo, sirrah.
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