This old cat
He had nine
He toed the mark
on the feline
Would a hip cat
Chase a rat
And leave the dog alone?
This old cat is going home

There was an old woman
Who hadn't a clue
On what to do
With her hairdo
It wouldn't stay up
It wouldn't stay down
And parts of it
Were touching the ground
So she moussed it severely
On top of her head
And wrapped it up tightly
Until she turned red

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
We still won't see you
Where you are
All this smog is in the way
The air is thick here in L.A.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
It's all in vain
You're just too far

Little Miss Muffett
Was trying to rough it
As she went about her way
A starved little spider
Then tried to excite her
So she screamed, "Get out of my whey!"

Jack knew Jill
Was on the pill
When he took her to the doctor
The doctor frowned
As she sat down
For he was sure to shock her