This Canned Ham, they can ram
Tastes more like it's Spam than ham
Just a gob of fat that's gooey gooey goo
Eat this crap, I shall not do

This Canned Ham, they can shove
Nothin' like real ham I love
It's a bad snack, take it back
Told 'em on the phone
Worst tinned meat I've ever known

This Canned Ham, pinkish junk
Killed a bird, I fed a hunk
Doesn't look good, smellin' bad
Ugly, it appears
Must be made from horses rears

This Canned Ham, on a plate
Looked like it had once been ate
Turned a key to open it,
Fell out with a plop
No-one oughta' eat such slop

This Canned Ham it's not meat
More like garbage off the street
FDA okayed it, but
Don't know why they would
One taste tells it's no damned good

This Canned Ham worst I've seen
Fat is where it's at, not lean
Gonna' call my Congressman
Ask him for a ban
I'll never buy another can

I'll never buy another can