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Song Parodies -> "The Ballad of Christmas Losers"
Original Song Title:
"It Came Upon the Midnight Clear"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"The Ballad of Christmas Losers"
Parody Written by:
Andrew D. Lacroix
The Lyrics
The above mentioned phrase is not mentioned in the following. This is the first of several X-Mas parodies I will be doing, all under the title of "The Ballad of Christmas Losers". In part 1, we have a gentleman just going anywhere for the last minute crap. Number 26.
I came upon a roadside store
A glorious sign for my heart
When I turned right off Hamilton
It was just a Wal-Mart
Oh crap, why did I make that turn
I never could really believe
That I would go X-Mas shopping
On freaking Christmas Eve!
I decided I would give it one try
As I walked in through the door
I should have just turned right around
The lines were fifty or more!
Maybe I should have just gone home
To my place at Crystal Shards*
Instead of getting something nice
I'll get some freaking gift cards
I spent damn near a hundred bucks
Then came back to my cold car
My tire flat as a toothpick
I won't get very far
It's barely 20 degrees outside
As I put my doughnut right on
I'll go home to my nice caring wife
Two daughters and my son Ron
I drove my car home anyway
To my house at Crystal Shards
One thing I forgot to add
I didn't buy freaking gift cards!
Oh man, now I have to drive back
For something else for my spouse
If I don't do what she says
I'll be in the damn doghouse!
A glorious sign for my heart
When I turned right off Hamilton
It was just a Wal-Mart
Oh crap, why did I make that turn
I never could really believe
That I would go X-Mas shopping
On freaking Christmas Eve!
I decided I would give it one try
As I walked in through the door
I should have just turned right around
The lines were fifty or more!
Maybe I should have just gone home
To my place at Crystal Shards*
Instead of getting something nice
I'll get some freaking gift cards
I spent damn near a hundred bucks
Then came back to my cold car
My tire flat as a toothpick
I won't get very far
It's barely 20 degrees outside
As I put my doughnut right on
I'll go home to my nice caring wife
Two daughters and my son Ron
I drove my car home anyway
To my house at Crystal Shards
One thing I forgot to add
I didn't buy freaking gift cards!
Oh man, now I have to drive back
For something else for my spouse
If I don't do what she says
I'll be in the damn doghouse!
*- Refers to a made up development. I wanted something to rhyme with cards. Song written 11/3/07 by Andrew D. Lacroix.
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