The Gasman Faileth
(Tune: Curragh of Kildare)

G Em C Am D
Oh the summer it is past and the winter’s here at last
C G C D
And the small birds have scarpered from the trees
C G C Am D
They’re basking in Belize, but all I do is freeze
G C Am D
Since my boiler has given up on me


Chorus:
C G C Am D
And it’s straight I must repair my boiler – it’s not fair
G C Am D
For the cowboys who made it, they don’t care


Oh the radiator’s fire, and hot waters running clear
Bring joy to everyone but me
Their homes are warm as toast, but mine is full of frost
Since my boiler has packed in on me.

Chorus

Oh, I’ll wear a woolly hat, with scarves around my neck
Warm gloves on my fingers I will wear
Until they can repair my boiler, I despair
‘Cos the schisters who made it, they don’t care.

Chorus

Oh a thermal vest I’ll wear, and I’ll grow long my hair
In fleeces so thick I will appear
Ah yes, this I’ll undertake, for my own survival’s sake
For my boiler is bust beyond repair

Chorus

All you who have no heat, and cannot it improve
I pity you the cold you must endure
For experience lets me know that your toes are sub-zero
And it’s a woe that no engineer can cure.

Oh why can’t they repair, my boiler, it’s not fair
For the b*****ds who made it, they don’t care!