Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
Song Parodies -> "Twelve Pains of Christmas"
Original Song Title:
"Twelve Days of Christmas"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Twelve Pains of Christmas"
Parody Written by:
Paira Dees
The Lyrics
I know that Chuck Norris didn't do all of this stuff. Happy Holidays to you all, especially to good ol' Chuck.
On the first pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Destruction with only one knee.
On the second pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only own knee.
On the third pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the fourth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the fifth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the sixth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the seventh pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the eighth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the ninth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the tenth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the eleventh pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Eleven skulls a-cracking,
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the twelfth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Twelve bodies crushing,
Eleven skulls a-cracking,
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee!
Chuck Norris sent to me
Destruction with only one knee.
On the second pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only own knee.
On the third pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the fourth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the fifth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the sixth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the seventh pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the eighth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the ninth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the tenth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the eleventh pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Eleven skulls a-cracking,
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the twelfth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Twelve bodies crushing,
Eleven skulls a-cracking,
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee!
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
| ||||||||||||||||||
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
Link To This Page
The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/traditional1616.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.
This is view # 1530