Can't find my freakin' luggage, man
I lost it on the plane!
It had important things in there
I might just go insane!
My laptop and my new iPod
And even my pimp cane!
Oh, where can my bloody luggage be?
Oh, deary me!
Oh, where can my bloody luggage be?

I walk up to the nearest staff
Member and start to rant:
"You bastards lost my stuff again
It's getting out of hand!
The last time that you lost it all
It wound up in Baghdad!
So what are you gonna do 'bout that
Hurry up, man!
Cuz I kinda need what's in my bags!"

The goober who just copped all this
Just waffled off some shite:
"It may be in the baggage hold
Well hidden out of sight
It could have fallen out the plane
Could be on the next flight!
Lots of places that your stuff could be
Simple, you see?
Lots of places that your stuff could be!"

I couldn't take no more, so I
Asked for the manager
The dweeb ran off, which made me wish
That I had been nicer
It probably wasn't his fault
I feel quite the loser
Yes, I'm pissed but that's not the right thing
Feel like dieing
Yes, I'm pissed but that's not a nice thing

The manager comes over, says
He'll look into my plight
He runs off to the intercom
I then apologize
The kid says "That's alright, good sir
Cuz I understand why"
Now we're waiting for the manager
To come back here
We're still waiting for the manager

The manager comes back, with an
Old lady and my bags!
He says "There was a mixup there
Your stuff's back, are you glad?"
To tell the truth, I'm overjoyed
But was compelled to ask
"If my stuff's here, then what about hers?
Might have it worse
Cuz her meds might be up in Dunkirk?"

The manager, he shits his pants
And says that he forgot
I've half a mind to punch his face
Did his brain go and rot?
But I've learnt that's a stupid thing
He matters not a jot
So I ask "What can I do to help?"
This shocks the whelp
And the kid and the old lady as well!