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Song Parodies -> "Battle Hymn of the Students"
Original Song Title:
"Battle Hymn of the Republic"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Battle Hymn of the Students"
Parody Written by:
Cary Bronson
The Lyrics
A song called either by the same title, or else "The Burning of the School," has existed for years. However, none of the variations present followed the tune of "John Brown's Body" very well. This one does. Also, I believe that these lyrics are far better, but that's just a matter of opinion.
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured all the teachers, we have broken every rule
We kidnapped the principal and drowned him in a pool
March on, students, march on.
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
See the pencil sticking through her,
March on, students, march on.
We pistol-whipped the counselors and made them eat their files,
The PE teachers' brains are smeared across the bathroom tiles,
We used a vacuum cleaner to remove the nurse's piles,
March on, students, march on.
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
See the pencil sticking through her,
March on, students, march on.
In halls adorned with posters they controlled our daily lives,
They made a world of misery in which nobody thrives,
And that is why we all brought in our twelve-inch Bowie knives,
March on, students march on.
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
See the pencil sticking through her,
March on, students, march on.
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
See the pencil sticking through her,
March on, students, march on.
We have tortured all the teachers, we have broken every rule
We kidnapped the principal and drowned him in a pool
March on, students, march on.
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
See the pencil sticking through her,
March on, students, march on.
We pistol-whipped the counselors and made them eat their files,
The PE teachers' brains are smeared across the bathroom tiles,
We used a vacuum cleaner to remove the nurse's piles,
March on, students, march on.
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
See the pencil sticking through her,
March on, students, march on.
In halls adorned with posters they controlled our daily lives,
They made a world of misery in which nobody thrives,
And that is why we all brought in our twelve-inch Bowie knives,
March on, students march on.
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
See the pencil sticking through her,
March on, students, march on.
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
See the pencil sticking through her,
March on, students, march on.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 9 | 9 |
User Comments
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In the post Columbine era a grade school student is likely to end up in Guantanamo for singing this old favorite. I remember learning it from my cousin when I was in the fifth grade and teaching it to some friends on the playground the next day. Your lyrics are a bit more "graphic" than the ones I recall, but I think each new generation thinks it invented this classic.
Good job of presenting the attitude of the kids who don't learn self-control at home. Here in Tidewater Virginia, a local paper recently editorialized against the use of pepper-spray to subdue lunchroom brawls, but today's issue has 3 letters from readers who support it to reduce risks to teachers.
I'm a substitute teacher, but I found this ditty quite funny. I bet my students have contemplated performing this (or something like this) to their friends behind my back.
Not violent enough, but I gave you a 555 anyway ;-D
I never heard this one when I was growing up, but I remember doing my own adaptations of schoolyard parodies when I was starting out here. 555 to you!
This is different from the version I knew but look at how schools use candy-coated half-truths, propaganda and outright brainwashing and lies to send them into a society where 1% has power and youth generally ain't wanted unless they do some major butt-kissing. They don't tell the truth about Native Americans or the Vietnam War or other things. Then the little tin gods tell big lies and America gets into another Vietnam / Iraq. We don't need no thought control.
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