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Song Parodies -> "The Three Forgotten LOTR Wizards"

Original Song Title:

"We Three Kings"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"The Three Forgotten LOTR Wizards"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

This is dedicated to Wendy and her epic in the works "LOTR! OMG!". The premise is that, in addition to Saruman (The White), Gandalf (The Grey), Radigast (The Brown), and two briefly mentioned Blue Wizards, there were three other Istari who were omitted from the saga of Middle Earth. Enjoy. ;D


Three more wizards - powerful but
From the Ring books they all were cut.
Grey, White, and Brown - all won great renown.
Yet of these three - tut tut.
Say....what?

What of these proud wizards three,
Air-brushed from the fantasy?
Where did they go? Don't ask Frodo!
He knows less than you or me.


First in line was Angus The Plaid,
Part Istari - part Highland lad.
Full of loud gripes, gave makind bagpipes.
Middle Earth thought him mad.
Hoot...mon!

Of the wizards, he's the rogue -
'Though his color's out of vogue.
To dwarves he's called - "Will MacDonald".
Elves can't understand his brogue.


Second, there was Brian The Taupe,
Smoking herbs that he made from rope.
Laid-back fellow, keeps all things mel-low,
Has Eregion's best dope.
Oh......wow!

What's that red in Sauron's eye?
He and Brian just got high!
Orcs are killin', Brian's chillin',
He is like one cosmic guy.


The third wizard's robes are chartreuse.
Elves and men just know him as Bruce.
Mincing, prancing, swishing, and dancing,
In battle he's no use.
Hi.....there!

Can't cast spells but can create
And Bruce sure can decorate.
Full of passion, knows his fashion.
Don't be fooled 'cause Bruce is straight.


These three of whom nobody sings
You won't find in Lord Of The Rings.
'Though they once grooved - they've all been removed.
Guess it's one of those things.
And.....so

Of the Scot, the Head, the Poof
You won't find one bit of proof.
Once completed, now deleted.
It's not true. It's just my spoof!



Wendy hoped that her LOTR work was not sacrelige. If that is so, then my cheeky parody is HERESY! ;D

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wendy Christopher - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Sheer. Epic. Genius!

At this very moment, I can just hear the 'LOTR:OMG!' target audience going "Ohmigod, they sound sooo coooll! Like, WHY did Sir Peter Jackman leave them out of the movie, dude? That was soooo lame of him!" Until they got to the last line... ;^) For that reason at least this parody should be framed and hung in a public place somewhere. I love it - Angus the Plaid, Brian the Taupe and Bruce... so many great lines, and paints the most brilliant pictures. Perhaps Brian can dope-enhance the 555 I'm giving ;^)
Callmelennie - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber .. he jes keep postin' along
AFW - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Never viewed any LOTR's - but I like your story
Phil Alexander - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
An unexpected beauty - wonderful idea, brilliantly executed.
Rob Arndt - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
I saw all the LOTR movies but have moved away from fantasy. Instead of Twilight, I prefer Underworld. Instead of LOTR, I prefer The Avengers. Instead of any dragon-based or forest-based movies I am into every facet of Sci-Fi on earth or in the universe (should I say multiverse)!!! But great parody-555!!!.
Timmy - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Awwww. Until the last line, I was hoping for a sequel, now that there is a prequel. Well written.
Syncronos - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Hey! What about Leroy the Blinged?!
Lifeliver - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment
As Wendy, Phil A: great concept, hoisting Tolkien on his own petard of imagination, with aptly imperious OS to boot and beautifully executed. Heady stuff, 555+++
@Wendy: 'Sir Peter Jackman LOL
Adam Eccleshall - January 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Am I the only one that imagined Tom Bombadil singing this as he wanders around the Old Forest? Great song :)

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