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Song Parodies -> "Selena Hot Mess's 12 Days of Christmas"
Original Song Title:
"The 12 Days of Christmas"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Selena Hot Mess's 12 Days of Christmas"
Parody Written by:
Joe the Crazy Conch
The Lyrics
OK, I admittedly don't like her, but Selena Gomez is the butt of countless jokes. This song is an annoying summary of gift-giving perpetrated by Ms. Gomez's ex-boyfriend, specifically the Canadian who shall not be named. Enjoy!
Oh, great. I didn’t order any of this stuff.
On the first day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
A 70-inch TV
On the second day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Two pairs of gloves and a 70-inch TV
On the third day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the fourth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the fifth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Five platinum rings, four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the sixth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Six Warhol paintings, five platinum rings, four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the seventh day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Seven brand-new jet skis, six Warhol paintings, five platinum rings, four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the eighth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Eight BOSE sound systems, seven brand-new jet skis, six Warhol paintings, five platinum rings, four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the ninth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Nine holes for golfing, 8 BOSE sound systems, 7 brand-new jet skis, 6 Warhol paintings, 5 platinum rings, 4 Cadillacs, 3 French horns, 2 pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the tenth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Ten bottles of Corona, 9 holes for golfing, 8 BOSE sound systems, 7 brand-new jet skis, 6 Warhol paintings, 5 platinum rings, 4 Cadillacs, 3 French horns, 2 pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the 11th day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Eleven Lorde concert passes, 10 bottles of Corona, 9 holes for golfing, 8 BOSE sound systems, 7 brand-new jet skis, 6 Warhol paintings, 5 platinum rings, 4 Cadillacs, 3 French horns, 2 pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the 12th day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Twelve million dollars, 11 Lorde concert passes, 10 bottles of Corona, 9 holes for golfing, 8 BOSE sound systems, 7 brand-new jet skis, 6 Warhol paintings, 5 platinum rings, 4 Cadillacs, 3 French horns, 2 pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV!!!
Who the heck is responsible for all this stuff?
I’ll find that guy and tell him that when he’s ready, he can come and get it. By “come and get it”, I mean I'll give that dude a punch in the nose.
On the first day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
A 70-inch TV
On the second day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Two pairs of gloves and a 70-inch TV
On the third day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the fourth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the fifth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Five platinum rings, four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the sixth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Six Warhol paintings, five platinum rings, four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the seventh day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Seven brand-new jet skis, six Warhol paintings, five platinum rings, four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the eighth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Eight BOSE sound systems, seven brand-new jet skis, six Warhol paintings, five platinum rings, four Cadillacs, three French horns, two pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the ninth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Nine holes for golfing, 8 BOSE sound systems, 7 brand-new jet skis, 6 Warhol paintings, 5 platinum rings, 4 Cadillacs, 3 French horns, 2 pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the tenth day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Ten bottles of Corona, 9 holes for golfing, 8 BOSE sound systems, 7 brand-new jet skis, 6 Warhol paintings, 5 platinum rings, 4 Cadillacs, 3 French horns, 2 pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the 11th day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Eleven Lorde concert passes, 10 bottles of Corona, 9 holes for golfing, 8 BOSE sound systems, 7 brand-new jet skis, 6 Warhol paintings, 5 platinum rings, 4 Cadillacs, 3 French horns, 2 pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV
On the 12th day of Christmas, some jerkoff sent to me
Twelve million dollars, 11 Lorde concert passes, 10 bottles of Corona, 9 holes for golfing, 8 BOSE sound systems, 7 brand-new jet skis, 6 Warhol paintings, 5 platinum rings, 4 Cadillacs, 3 French horns, 2 pairs of gloves, and a 70-inch TV!!!
Who the heck is responsible for all this stuff?
I’ll find that guy and tell him that when he’s ready, he can come and get it. By “come and get it”, I mean I'll give that dude a punch in the nose.
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