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Song Parodies -> "My 500th Parody On Amiright!"
Original Song Title:
"She'll Be Coming 'round The Mountain"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"My 500th Parody On Amiright!"
Parody Written by:
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd
The Lyrics
This is my 500th parody on Amiright! Go me! I wanted to do something special with it, maybe to Abba as they're still the most famous band from my country, maybe to Motorhead because they've been my favorite band for life, but most of all I wanted to challenge myself by crafting something really original - and that's why it's probably more than just a little ironic that I ended up with my own version of "you can have my xxxx when I die" set to the most traditional of traditionals; "she'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes" - it's not even the first take on that idea here on Amiright!
But luckily there's a gargantuan twist (or two, or three, stay tuned). Never before, as far as I know, has it been done as a duet between two people in a verbal fight, stating that they hope the other one is gonna die so that they can give away all their annoying stuff. That's gotta count for something!
And that's just the starting point! All in all there are 65 verses, I've had them numbered for your convenience and easier reference should you want to comment on something particular. Also, if you're wacky like me you might not be able to avoid coming up with additional verses of your own, I'm sure there are other partner-issues out there that didn't occur to me (though God knows I've tried for weeks) - you're all welcome to add and bash such pet peeves in the comments section.
But luckily there's a gargantuan twist (or two, or three, stay tuned). Never before, as far as I know, has it been done as a duet between two people in a verbal fight, stating that they hope the other one is gonna die so that they can give away all their annoying stuff. That's gotta count for something!
And that's just the starting point! All in all there are 65 verses, I've had them numbered for your convenience and easier reference should you want to comment on something particular. Also, if you're wacky like me you might not be able to avoid coming up with additional verses of your own, I'm sure there are other partner-issues out there that didn't occur to me (though God knows I've tried for weeks) - you're all welcome to add and bash such pet peeves in the comments section.
PART 1: THE BUILD-UP
(1) HER:
You can have his wobbly chopper when he dies
You can have his wobbly chopper when he dies
When he's crashed out all his brain cells
He'll be riding with the angels
You can have his wobbly chopper when he dies
(2) HIM:
You can have her pair of Nikes when she dies
You can have her pair of Nikes when she dies
But her poodle might protect 'em
Cos they're smelling like its rectum
You can have her pair of Nikes when she dies
(3) HER:
You can have his rubber undies when he dies
You can have his rubber undies when he dies
Wash'em daily in saltpetre
While he's pleading to Saint Peter
You can have his rubber undies when he dies
(4) HIM:
You can have all of her karma when she dies
You can have all of her karma when she dies
Cos no matter where she'll first go
She'll be reborn a potato
You can have all of her karma when she dies
(5) HER:
You can have his night shift flashlight when he dies
You can have his night shift flashlight when he dies
It's a freebie from the junkjard
Where they pay him like a retard
You can have his night shift flashlight when he dies
(6) HIM:
You can have her school diploma when she dies
You can have her school diploma when she dies
She took lunch and breaks and recess
And some grass stains on her prom dress
You can have her school diploma when she dies
(7) HER:
You can have his suburb shanty when he dies
You can have his suburb shanty when he dies
The lan'lord's an Ayatollah
That keeps ask me for payola
You can have his suburb shanty when he dies
(8) HIM:
You can have her silicon boobs when she dies
You can have her silicon boobs when she dies
Even though they look fantastic
Like the rest of her they're plastic
You can have her silicon boobs when she dies
(9) HER:
You can have his Star Wars sabre when he dies
You can have his Star Wars sabre when he dies
You can play with it for hours
Feel the force of godlike powers
You can have his Star Wars sabre when he dies
(10) HIM:
You can have her "Twilight" coffin when she dies
You can have her "Twilight" coffin when she dies
It's a fandom thing that she'd buy
But she couldn't suck a worm dry
You can have her "Twilight" coffin when she dies
(11) HER:
You can have his porn collection when he dies
You can have his porn collection when he dies
No more time for masterbatin'
He'll be zipping down with Satan
You can have his porn collection when he dies
(12) HIM:
You can have her toe nail clippings when she dies
You can have her toe nail clippings when she dies
Cos the bed is quite full of'em
And she nixed my plea to show'em
You can have her toe nail clippings when she dies
(13) HER:
I won't miss his sour beer farts when he dies
I won't miss his sour beer farts when he dies
And his B.O. from the garlic
melting icecaps in the arctic
I won't miss his sour beer farts when he dies
(14) HIM:
You can have her browser hist'ry when she dies
You can have her browser hist'ry when she dies
Show your BFF the crap there
Even nuns would join to slap her
You can have her browser hist'ry when she dies
(15) HER:
You can have our vaccum cleaner when he dies
You can have our vaccum cleaner when he dies
He's as cleanly as his mudflaps
And to start it needs a bitch slap
You can have our vaccum cleaner when he dies
(16) HIM:
You can take her One Direction when she dies
You can take her One Direction when she dies
She plays every single CD
Just to block my AC/DC
You can take her One Direction when she dies
(17) HER:
You can have his cable channel when he dies
You can have his cable channel when he dies
But don't waste too much time in it
Get online, more boobs a minute
You can have his cable channel when he dies
(18) HIM:
You can have her Hotmail inbox when she dies
You can have her Hotmail inbox when she dies
It has spam to feed five nations
And some pinkish animations
You can have her Hotmail inbox when she dies
(19) HER:
You can have his rusty shotgun when he dies
You can have his rusty shotgun when he dies
He's a target-missing wussy
He can hardly hit my pussy
You can have his rusty shotgun when he dies
(20) HIM:
You can have her hairy pussy when she dies
You can have her hairy pussy when she dies
Oh, that cat is such a bother
And it's hissing like her mother
You can have her hairy pussy when she dies
(21) HER:
You can have his skin complexions when he dies
You can have his skin complexions when he dies
Pink and rubicundish tidbits
And some oversized mantitzits
You can have his skin complexions when he dies
(22) HIM:
You can have her crates of make-up when she dies
You can have her crates of make-up when she dies
Come here quick and take a sack out
'Fore the smell gives you a blackout
You can have her crates of make-up when she dies
(23) HER:
You can have his Ray-Ban glasses when he dies
You can have his Ray-Ban glasses when he dies
He's an ego sunglass nightmare
Thinks he's cool behind that eyewear
You can have his Ray-Ban glasses when he dies
(24) HIM:
You can have her disc of "Frozen" when she dies
You can have her disc of "Frozen" when she dies
Cos like every fairy princess
She just sits there mostly useless
You can have her disc of "Frozen" when she dies
(25) HER:
You can have his kiddie movies when he dies
You can have his kiddie movies when he dies
He's still crying over Bambi
E.T. makes him namby-pamby
You can have his kiddie movies when he dies
(26) HIM:
You can have her pillow waffle when she dies
You can have her pillow waffle when she dies
I get mine, she her's, it's over
I don't wanna take it slower
You can have her pillow waffle when she dies
(27) HER:
You can have his male enhancements when he dies
You can have his male enhancements when he dies
Be it pumps or pills or porno
In Nirvana that's a no-no
You can have his male enhancements when he dies
(28) HIM:
You can have her iPhone 5S when she dies
You can have her iPhone 5S when she dies
Cos like all them Apple faggots
She'll be overcharged by maggots
You can have her iPhone 5S when she dies
(29) HER:
You can have his Samsung smartphone when he dies
You can have his Samsung smartphone when he dies
I would never touch an android
I would rather swipe his hemorrhoids
You can have his Samsung smartphone when he dies
(30) HIM:
You can have her Twitter fanclub when she dies
You can have her Twitter fanclub when she dies
While you cross the street a-hunching
Tell the world about your lunching
You can have her Twitter fanclub when she dies
(31) HER:
You can have his cans of moonshine when he dies
You can have his cans of moonshine when he dies
If to booze you're no objector
While I'm sipping juice and nectar
You can have his cans of moonshine when he dies
(32) HIM:
You can have her Nutribullet when she dies
You can have her Nutribullet when she dies
Live some years on juice of nettle
Bark and kale and you'll be fettle
You can have her Nutribullet when she dies
(33) HER:
You can have his "Kama Sutra" when he dies
You can have his "Kama Sutra" when he dies
He pretended to be Buddhist
Then he asked I'd be his flutist
You can have his "Kama Sutra" when he dies
(34) HIM:
You can have her stash of chocolate when she dies
You can have her stash of chocolate when she dies
Cos she blows up like Godzilla
When it pass down her maxillae
You can have her stash of chocolate when she dies
(35) HER:
You can have his drunken dickpics when he dies
You can have his drunken dickpics when he dies
See the cod-bite from Ibiza
And the scars from his Bar Mitzva
You can have his drunken dickpics when he dies
(36) HIM:
You can have her beach day flip-flops when she dies
You can have her beach day flip-flops when she dies
She's afraid of crabs, won't use 'em
And her poodle has abused them
You can have her beach day flip-flops when she dies
(37) HER:
You can have his smudgy string vest when he dies
You can have his smudgy string vest when he dies
He escaped out of the friend zone
'Fore I saw it, I was too stoned
You can have his smudgy string vest when he dies
(38) HIM:
You can have her throne room scale set when she dies
You can have her throne room scale set when she dies
She has stepped on me a lifetime
But that weigh-down's been a war crime
You can have her throne room scale set when she dies
(39) HER:
You can have his Axe deod'rant when he dies
You can have his Axe deod'rant when he dies
Maybe once I thought it kinky
Even mom now calls him "Stinky"
You can have his Axe deod'rant when he dies
(40) HIM:
You can have her resting bitch face when she dies
You can have her resting bitch face when she dies
It will tell you you're in trouble
As it freezes on the double
You can have her resting bitch face when she dies
(41) HER:
You can have his backhand bitch slap when he dies
You can have his backhand bitch slap when he dies
He's no good elsewhere with fingers
But a blossomed cheek can linger
You can have his backhand bitch slap when he dies
(42) HIM:
You can have her Wiccan handbook when she dies
You can have her Wiccan handbook when she dies
And her constant nag and bitching
Cos with her I'll it be ditching
You can have her Wiccan handbook when she dies
(43) HER:
You can have his Swedish meatballs when he dies
You can have his Swedish meatballs when he dies
ABBA, Björn Borg and IKEA
Make me itch like gonorrhea
You can have his Swedish meatballs when he dies
(44) HIM:
You can have her contraceptives when she dies
You can have her contraceptives when she dies
She's too dumb to be a-pilling
Always uterus' refilling
You can have her contraceptives when she dies
(45) HER:
You can have his redneck in-laws when he dies
You can have his redneck in-laws when he dies
They can live out back on possum
But their squirrel stew is awesome
You can have his redneck in-laws when he dies
(46) HIM:
You can have her highbrow friend-zone when she dies
You can have her highbrow friend-zone when she dies
See their hipster indie rock bands
Eat their fair-trade oatmeal no-brands
You can have her highbrow friend-zone when she dies
(47) HER:
You can have his poker buddies when he dies
You can have his poker buddies when he dies
They're the ones who take his money
While I'm dishing out poor tunny
You can have his poker buddies when he dies
(48) HIM:
You can have her hands-on pool boy when she dies
You can have her hands-on pool boy when she dies
I have paid its wax - Brazilian!
When the hell will he start building?
You can have her hands-on pool boy when she dies
(49) HER:
You can have his dimwit logic when he dies
You can have his dimwit logic when he dies
Was to dumb to be recruited
Even kindergarten-booted
You can have his dimwit logic when he dies
(50) HIM:
You can have her OODA-looping when she dies
You can have her OODA-looping when she dies
Ads-to-list-to-mall-to-sopping
Foregoes shopping-dropping-stopping
You can have her OODA-looping when she dies
(51) HER:
I will burn his list of floozies when he dies
I will burn his list of floozies when he dies
I'm afraid it has infections
You'd be f*cked like post election
I will burn his list of floozies when he dies
(52) HIM:
I'll get off as beast of burden when she dies
I'll get off as beast of burden when she dies
I'm her donkey down at Walmart
Where the paying's also my part
I'll get off as beast of burden when she dies
PART 2: THE BREAK-DOWN
(53) THE KIDS --- KNOCKING ON THE FRONT DOOR:
Can we have some food, we're starving - let us in!
Can we have some food, we're starving - let us in!
We've been locked out here forever
Cos you're fighting or whatever
Can we have some food, we're starving - let us in!
(54) THE LANDLORD --- ALSO KNOCKING ON THE FRONT DOOR:
If you live or if you die - you'll pony up!
If you live or if you die - you'll pony up!
I don't care if you're conflicted
You'll pay up or be evicted
If you live or if you die - you'll pony up!
(55) THE LANDLORD'S ENFORCER –- JOINING IN:
There's no profit in your death - just get it on!
There's no profit in your death - just get it on!
If you don't want kids here grieving
You'll pay up before we're leaving
There's no profit in your death - just get it on!
(56) HER HIGHBROW FRIENDS --- KNOCKING ON THE FRONT WINDOW:
Can you stop the clan reunion in your yard!
Can you stop the clan reunion in your yard!
It's a clusterfuck to happen
If the rednecks keeps a-yapping
Can you stop the clan reunion in your yard!
(57) HIS REDNECK IN-LAWS --- KNOCKING ON THE BACK WINDOW:
Can you stop the hipster rally on your lawn!
Can you stop the hipster rally on your lawn!
If these libertards stay active
We'll have indie target practice
Can you stop the hipster rally on your lawn!
(58) UNKNOWN MAN IN TRACKSUIT --- KNOCKING ON THE LEFT WINDOW:
I am here to take your TV - hear my song!
I am here to take your TV - hear my song!
I'm from Repo Cosa Nostra
And the Sleep With Fish Orchestra
I am here to take your TV - hear my song!
(59) THE LOCAL VICAR --- KNOCKING ON THE RIGHT WINDOW:
Let me in and let me meddle - will you please?
Let me in and let me meddle - will you please?
No-one here needs to be dying
'Less the invectiv's keep flying
Let me in and let me meddle - will you please?
(60) HIS POKER BUDDIES --- HONKING AS THEY DRIVE UP:
(WITH HER "POOL GUY" IN THE BACKSEAT --- NO COINCIDENT)
Are you in there mister loser - now we're here!
Are you in there mister loser - now we're here!
Clean your clock and set the table
We are ready, willing, able
Are you in there mister loser - now we're here!
(61) A REAL ESTATE AGENT - TRYING TO SELL THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR:
This is hopeless, this is hellish - I give up!
This is hopeless, this is hellish - I give up!
It's like straight out outta Compton
Worse than Flanders' next to Simpson's
This is hopeless, this is hellish - I give up!
(62) GOD IN HEAVEN ABOVE:
I don't think I want these people when they die!
I don't think I want these people when they die!
I have never seen such naughty
'Cept the Amiright-irati ;-)
I don't think I want these people when they die!
(63) SATAN IN HELL BELOW:
Gosh and Blimey, who could know, they're dumped on me!
Gosh and Blimey, who could know, they're dumped on me!
I've been planning a vacation
Not a new pit-wing creation
Gosh and Blimey, who could know, they're dumped on me!
(64) THE POLICE --- ARRIVING --- KICKING DOWN THE FRONT DOOR:
Can we have some peace and quiet - now shut up!
Can we have some peace and quiet - now shut up!
Shoot you douching in the shower
Might be well within our powers
Can we have some peace and quiet - now shut up!
PART 3: THE CLIMAX
(65) HIM AND HER --- BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY:
Hold your bullets, everybody - we're just fine!
Hold your bullets, everybody - we're just fine!
We're just kinky, ditty lovers
See - we're singing in the shower!
Hold your bullets, everybody - we're just fine!
(1) HER:
You can have his wobbly chopper when he dies
You can have his wobbly chopper when he dies
When he's crashed out all his brain cells
He'll be riding with the angels
You can have his wobbly chopper when he dies
(2) HIM:
You can have her pair of Nikes when she dies
You can have her pair of Nikes when she dies
But her poodle might protect 'em
Cos they're smelling like its rectum
You can have her pair of Nikes when she dies
(3) HER:
You can have his rubber undies when he dies
You can have his rubber undies when he dies
Wash'em daily in saltpetre
While he's pleading to Saint Peter
You can have his rubber undies when he dies
(4) HIM:
You can have all of her karma when she dies
You can have all of her karma when she dies
Cos no matter where she'll first go
She'll be reborn a potato
You can have all of her karma when she dies
(5) HER:
You can have his night shift flashlight when he dies
You can have his night shift flashlight when he dies
It's a freebie from the junkjard
Where they pay him like a retard
You can have his night shift flashlight when he dies
(6) HIM:
You can have her school diploma when she dies
You can have her school diploma when she dies
She took lunch and breaks and recess
And some grass stains on her prom dress
You can have her school diploma when she dies
(7) HER:
You can have his suburb shanty when he dies
You can have his suburb shanty when he dies
The lan'lord's an Ayatollah
That keeps ask me for payola
You can have his suburb shanty when he dies
(8) HIM:
You can have her silicon boobs when she dies
You can have her silicon boobs when she dies
Even though they look fantastic
Like the rest of her they're plastic
You can have her silicon boobs when she dies
(9) HER:
You can have his Star Wars sabre when he dies
You can have his Star Wars sabre when he dies
You can play with it for hours
Feel the force of godlike powers
You can have his Star Wars sabre when he dies
(10) HIM:
You can have her "Twilight" coffin when she dies
You can have her "Twilight" coffin when she dies
It's a fandom thing that she'd buy
But she couldn't suck a worm dry
You can have her "Twilight" coffin when she dies
(11) HER:
You can have his porn collection when he dies
You can have his porn collection when he dies
No more time for masterbatin'
He'll be zipping down with Satan
You can have his porn collection when he dies
(12) HIM:
You can have her toe nail clippings when she dies
You can have her toe nail clippings when she dies
Cos the bed is quite full of'em
And she nixed my plea to show'em
You can have her toe nail clippings when she dies
(13) HER:
I won't miss his sour beer farts when he dies
I won't miss his sour beer farts when he dies
And his B.O. from the garlic
melting icecaps in the arctic
I won't miss his sour beer farts when he dies
(14) HIM:
You can have her browser hist'ry when she dies
You can have her browser hist'ry when she dies
Show your BFF the crap there
Even nuns would join to slap her
You can have her browser hist'ry when she dies
(15) HER:
You can have our vaccum cleaner when he dies
You can have our vaccum cleaner when he dies
He's as cleanly as his mudflaps
And to start it needs a bitch slap
You can have our vaccum cleaner when he dies
(16) HIM:
You can take her One Direction when she dies
You can take her One Direction when she dies
She plays every single CD
Just to block my AC/DC
You can take her One Direction when she dies
(17) HER:
You can have his cable channel when he dies
You can have his cable channel when he dies
But don't waste too much time in it
Get online, more boobs a minute
You can have his cable channel when he dies
(18) HIM:
You can have her Hotmail inbox when she dies
You can have her Hotmail inbox when she dies
It has spam to feed five nations
And some pinkish animations
You can have her Hotmail inbox when she dies
(19) HER:
You can have his rusty shotgun when he dies
You can have his rusty shotgun when he dies
He's a target-missing wussy
He can hardly hit my pussy
You can have his rusty shotgun when he dies
(20) HIM:
You can have her hairy pussy when she dies
You can have her hairy pussy when she dies
Oh, that cat is such a bother
And it's hissing like her mother
You can have her hairy pussy when she dies
(21) HER:
You can have his skin complexions when he dies
You can have his skin complexions when he dies
Pink and rubicundish tidbits
And some oversized mantitzits
You can have his skin complexions when he dies
(22) HIM:
You can have her crates of make-up when she dies
You can have her crates of make-up when she dies
Come here quick and take a sack out
'Fore the smell gives you a blackout
You can have her crates of make-up when she dies
(23) HER:
You can have his Ray-Ban glasses when he dies
You can have his Ray-Ban glasses when he dies
He's an ego sunglass nightmare
Thinks he's cool behind that eyewear
You can have his Ray-Ban glasses when he dies
(24) HIM:
You can have her disc of "Frozen" when she dies
You can have her disc of "Frozen" when she dies
Cos like every fairy princess
She just sits there mostly useless
You can have her disc of "Frozen" when she dies
(25) HER:
You can have his kiddie movies when he dies
You can have his kiddie movies when he dies
He's still crying over Bambi
E.T. makes him namby-pamby
You can have his kiddie movies when he dies
(26) HIM:
You can have her pillow waffle when she dies
You can have her pillow waffle when she dies
I get mine, she her's, it's over
I don't wanna take it slower
You can have her pillow waffle when she dies
(27) HER:
You can have his male enhancements when he dies
You can have his male enhancements when he dies
Be it pumps or pills or porno
In Nirvana that's a no-no
You can have his male enhancements when he dies
(28) HIM:
You can have her iPhone 5S when she dies
You can have her iPhone 5S when she dies
Cos like all them Apple faggots
She'll be overcharged by maggots
You can have her iPhone 5S when she dies
(29) HER:
You can have his Samsung smartphone when he dies
You can have his Samsung smartphone when he dies
I would never touch an android
I would rather swipe his hemorrhoids
You can have his Samsung smartphone when he dies
(30) HIM:
You can have her Twitter fanclub when she dies
You can have her Twitter fanclub when she dies
While you cross the street a-hunching
Tell the world about your lunching
You can have her Twitter fanclub when she dies
(31) HER:
You can have his cans of moonshine when he dies
You can have his cans of moonshine when he dies
If to booze you're no objector
While I'm sipping juice and nectar
You can have his cans of moonshine when he dies
(32) HIM:
You can have her Nutribullet when she dies
You can have her Nutribullet when she dies
Live some years on juice of nettle
Bark and kale and you'll be fettle
You can have her Nutribullet when she dies
(33) HER:
You can have his "Kama Sutra" when he dies
You can have his "Kama Sutra" when he dies
He pretended to be Buddhist
Then he asked I'd be his flutist
You can have his "Kama Sutra" when he dies
(34) HIM:
You can have her stash of chocolate when she dies
You can have her stash of chocolate when she dies
Cos she blows up like Godzilla
When it pass down her maxillae
You can have her stash of chocolate when she dies
(35) HER:
You can have his drunken dickpics when he dies
You can have his drunken dickpics when he dies
See the cod-bite from Ibiza
And the scars from his Bar Mitzva
You can have his drunken dickpics when he dies
(36) HIM:
You can have her beach day flip-flops when she dies
You can have her beach day flip-flops when she dies
She's afraid of crabs, won't use 'em
And her poodle has abused them
You can have her beach day flip-flops when she dies
(37) HER:
You can have his smudgy string vest when he dies
You can have his smudgy string vest when he dies
He escaped out of the friend zone
'Fore I saw it, I was too stoned
You can have his smudgy string vest when he dies
(38) HIM:
You can have her throne room scale set when she dies
You can have her throne room scale set when she dies
She has stepped on me a lifetime
But that weigh-down's been a war crime
You can have her throne room scale set when she dies
(39) HER:
You can have his Axe deod'rant when he dies
You can have his Axe deod'rant when he dies
Maybe once I thought it kinky
Even mom now calls him "Stinky"
You can have his Axe deod'rant when he dies
(40) HIM:
You can have her resting bitch face when she dies
You can have her resting bitch face when she dies
It will tell you you're in trouble
As it freezes on the double
You can have her resting bitch face when she dies
(41) HER:
You can have his backhand bitch slap when he dies
You can have his backhand bitch slap when he dies
He's no good elsewhere with fingers
But a blossomed cheek can linger
You can have his backhand bitch slap when he dies
(42) HIM:
You can have her Wiccan handbook when she dies
You can have her Wiccan handbook when she dies
And her constant nag and bitching
Cos with her I'll it be ditching
You can have her Wiccan handbook when she dies
(43) HER:
You can have his Swedish meatballs when he dies
You can have his Swedish meatballs when he dies
ABBA, Björn Borg and IKEA
Make me itch like gonorrhea
You can have his Swedish meatballs when he dies
(44) HIM:
You can have her contraceptives when she dies
You can have her contraceptives when she dies
She's too dumb to be a-pilling
Always uterus' refilling
You can have her contraceptives when she dies
(45) HER:
You can have his redneck in-laws when he dies
You can have his redneck in-laws when he dies
They can live out back on possum
But their squirrel stew is awesome
You can have his redneck in-laws when he dies
(46) HIM:
You can have her highbrow friend-zone when she dies
You can have her highbrow friend-zone when she dies
See their hipster indie rock bands
Eat their fair-trade oatmeal no-brands
You can have her highbrow friend-zone when she dies
(47) HER:
You can have his poker buddies when he dies
You can have his poker buddies when he dies
They're the ones who take his money
While I'm dishing out poor tunny
You can have his poker buddies when he dies
(48) HIM:
You can have her hands-on pool boy when she dies
You can have her hands-on pool boy when she dies
I have paid its wax - Brazilian!
When the hell will he start building?
You can have her hands-on pool boy when she dies
(49) HER:
You can have his dimwit logic when he dies
You can have his dimwit logic when he dies
Was to dumb to be recruited
Even kindergarten-booted
You can have his dimwit logic when he dies
(50) HIM:
You can have her OODA-looping when she dies
You can have her OODA-looping when she dies
Ads-to-list-to-mall-to-sopping
Foregoes shopping-dropping-stopping
You can have her OODA-looping when she dies
(51) HER:
I will burn his list of floozies when he dies
I will burn his list of floozies when he dies
I'm afraid it has infections
You'd be f*cked like post election
I will burn his list of floozies when he dies
(52) HIM:
I'll get off as beast of burden when she dies
I'll get off as beast of burden when she dies
I'm her donkey down at Walmart
Where the paying's also my part
I'll get off as beast of burden when she dies
PART 2: THE BREAK-DOWN
(53) THE KIDS --- KNOCKING ON THE FRONT DOOR:
Can we have some food, we're starving - let us in!
Can we have some food, we're starving - let us in!
We've been locked out here forever
Cos you're fighting or whatever
Can we have some food, we're starving - let us in!
(54) THE LANDLORD --- ALSO KNOCKING ON THE FRONT DOOR:
If you live or if you die - you'll pony up!
If you live or if you die - you'll pony up!
I don't care if you're conflicted
You'll pay up or be evicted
If you live or if you die - you'll pony up!
(55) THE LANDLORD'S ENFORCER –- JOINING IN:
There's no profit in your death - just get it on!
There's no profit in your death - just get it on!
If you don't want kids here grieving
You'll pay up before we're leaving
There's no profit in your death - just get it on!
(56) HER HIGHBROW FRIENDS --- KNOCKING ON THE FRONT WINDOW:
Can you stop the clan reunion in your yard!
Can you stop the clan reunion in your yard!
It's a clusterfuck to happen
If the rednecks keeps a-yapping
Can you stop the clan reunion in your yard!
(57) HIS REDNECK IN-LAWS --- KNOCKING ON THE BACK WINDOW:
Can you stop the hipster rally on your lawn!
Can you stop the hipster rally on your lawn!
If these libertards stay active
We'll have indie target practice
Can you stop the hipster rally on your lawn!
(58) UNKNOWN MAN IN TRACKSUIT --- KNOCKING ON THE LEFT WINDOW:
I am here to take your TV - hear my song!
I am here to take your TV - hear my song!
I'm from Repo Cosa Nostra
And the Sleep With Fish Orchestra
I am here to take your TV - hear my song!
(59) THE LOCAL VICAR --- KNOCKING ON THE RIGHT WINDOW:
Let me in and let me meddle - will you please?
Let me in and let me meddle - will you please?
No-one here needs to be dying
'Less the invectiv's keep flying
Let me in and let me meddle - will you please?
(60) HIS POKER BUDDIES --- HONKING AS THEY DRIVE UP:
(WITH HER "POOL GUY" IN THE BACKSEAT --- NO COINCIDENT)
Are you in there mister loser - now we're here!
Are you in there mister loser - now we're here!
Clean your clock and set the table
We are ready, willing, able
Are you in there mister loser - now we're here!
(61) A REAL ESTATE AGENT - TRYING TO SELL THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR:
This is hopeless, this is hellish - I give up!
This is hopeless, this is hellish - I give up!
It's like straight out outta Compton
Worse than Flanders' next to Simpson's
This is hopeless, this is hellish - I give up!
(62) GOD IN HEAVEN ABOVE:
I don't think I want these people when they die!
I don't think I want these people when they die!
I have never seen such naughty
'Cept the Amiright-irati ;-)
I don't think I want these people when they die!
(63) SATAN IN HELL BELOW:
Gosh and Blimey, who could know, they're dumped on me!
Gosh and Blimey, who could know, they're dumped on me!
I've been planning a vacation
Not a new pit-wing creation
Gosh and Blimey, who could know, they're dumped on me!
(64) THE POLICE --- ARRIVING --- KICKING DOWN THE FRONT DOOR:
Can we have some peace and quiet - now shut up!
Can we have some peace and quiet - now shut up!
Shoot you douching in the shower
Might be well within our powers
Can we have some peace and quiet - now shut up!
PART 3: THE CLIMAX
(65) HIM AND HER --- BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY:
Hold your bullets, everybody - we're just fine!
Hold your bullets, everybody - we're just fine!
We're just kinky, ditty lovers
See - we're singing in the shower!
Hold your bullets, everybody - we're just fine!
© Peter Andersson 2015.
(At first I did let God have the last pharagraph, but then my whole "Eden" here above started to evolve).
(At first I did let God have the last pharagraph, but then my whole "Eden" here above started to evolve).
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 41 | 41 | 41 |
User Comments
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As a numbers man and unrelenting production machine, let me be the first to say Congratulations buddy on your 500th. May you reach 1000 and beyond!!! 555 votes of confidence!
Kramar, kyssar och grattis! I passed the 500 spoof mark some months ago, and hope we both will one day pass the 1000 mark as well! 555 for excellent parody.
High 5s Peter and also three fives!
"To infinity and beyond!" Now, who the heck said that? Oh yeah, Buzz Lightyear! Triple 5s!
Is this the longest parody ever posted on AIR? It actually held my interest through to the not-so-bitter end. "Zippin' down with Satan" is a particularly great line. By the way, I am sort of a gun nut, so I'll take the rusty shotgun. Maybe I can clean it up.
you can have my 5 votes but I'm still alive
you can have my 5 votes but I'm still alive
think you got me and the others
with the reveal kinky lovers?
you can have my 5 votes but I'm still alive
you can have my 5 votes but I'm still alive
think you got me and the others
with the reveal kinky lovers?
you can have my 5 votes but I'm still alive
Thanks Rob, Susanna, Ted, Dan, Patrick, Jonathan and all the 30 of you that voted for this song! :-)
Hayzoos H Christ-ay, Peter. I will read it when I have time to spare. 555, a little somethin' for the effort.
One monster of a parody! 5s
Huge! 555!
Thanks Agrimorfee, Anne B and David K.
Truly a pleasure to read. Triple 5s!
555 for your 500th!
Thanks Kent and Shirley!
It must take a lot of creativity to write five hundred parodies. You must have a big imagination, Peter. I enjoyed this a lot. Three fives!
Thanks Joe!
The Brits are snobby, the Finn is haughty, but the Swede is Godly!!!
Thanks IO, but don't you know all musicians are supposed to end up the other destination?
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