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Song Parodies -> "Here Comes Dirty Paws"

Original Song Title:

"Here Comes Santa Claus"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Here Comes Dirty Paws"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Sorry Jon, threw you off again!
Here comes dirty paws, here comes dirty paws
Trucker in his Sixteen
Belchin' and cursin' in all his leather
Cigarette aflame
IN bells ringin', keys are swingin'
He's an ungodly sight
Watch your butts and avoid his stares
'Cause dirty paws is dinin' tonight!

Here comes dirty paws, here comes dirty paws
Scruffy beard and shaggy mane
He's got a wallet filled with greenbacks
Danglin' on a chain
Young, soft buns he likes to manhandle
Hawks bosoms left and right
He's in his booth- all new waitresses dread
'Cause dirty paws wants fresh meat tonight!

Here comes dirty paws, here comes dirty paws
Handprints are his fame
Bloody steak juice soaked in finger-four
Planted on the rear (or rack) of some poor server dame
Howls with laughter, tail he's after
That sh-t goes on all night
Stuffs bras with bills as he leers
'Cause dirty paws does what he likes...

[Until the girls finally get fed-up]

Here comes dirty paws, here comes dirty paws
Runnin' to the head again
Acts like a thug, but who's now drunk as a skunk
Let's finish off this pain (in the ass)
Grab his clothes y'all
Rob him blind you dolls
Call 911 and when the Sheriff comes
Tell him that dirty paws is a perv y'all
Send to jail this scum...

'Cause the diner girls have had enough!
ENOUGH!!!





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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   11
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 11
 

User Comments

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Jonathan - January 26, 2016 - Report this comment
Meow will you do one about a cat? :P 5's
Rob Arndt - January 26, 2016 - Report this comment
Jon, you just gave me another idea!
John Lomain - January 26, 2016 - Report this comment
Interesting and fun

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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