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Song Parodies -> "Poles are Simple"

Original Song Title:

"Jack be Nimble"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Poles are Simple"

Parody Written by:

Arden Ockkerfuss

The Lyrics

Poles are simple,
Poles are thick,
Europe's Mexicans
Make the West sick

Poles are asses,
Poles are fools,
Superstitious jerks
'Fraid of ghost & ghouls

Poles are sicker
Meds are crap
Eat sour cabbage
Their food is trash

Poor Polish humor,
Poles lack stars,
And Polish beauty
Not much by far

Poles are simple,
Poles are thick,
Make crappy products
Better with bricks

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 29

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 1
 
 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   26
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 26
 

User Comments

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Ha! - August 25, 2016 - Report this comment
Three travelers, one from India, one a Jew and the third a Polak are having trouble finding a room for the night. After much searching, they finally find an Inn with only two beds left. The innkeeper offers to let the third one of them sleep in the barn. They draw straws for the two beds, and the Indian is sent off to the barn for the night. But within five minutes of the Jew and the Polak turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the Indian. "I cannot sleep in the barn," says the Indian, "I am Hindu and there is a cow in the barn. Cows are sacred to us so I cannot sleep under the same roof as one." The Jew volunteers to go to sleep in the barn. But within five minutes of the Polak and the Indian turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the Jew. "I can't sleep in the barn either," says the Jew, "there's a pig in the barn, and if I sleep in hay that a pig has touched, I may get some in my mouth and that wouldn't be kosher." So the Polak ventures out to go to sleep in the barn. But within five minutes of the Indian and the Jew turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the cow and the pig.
Quincy Quackenbush - August 25, 2016 - Report this comment
This series is great. Can you make fun of the Irish next, and then the nigras? I'm glad I'm a Wasp. You wouldn't put me down. Unless you're a Yid.
WTH? - August 25, 2016 - Report this comment
^ a Nigra? A Yid? Go to hell you Hillbilly anti-semitic racist! If you can't tell a funny parody from cultural demonism, you shouldn't be here or online!
Quentin Quiddity - August 25, 2016 - Report this comment
I agree with Quincy. It's always useful to categorize nationalities and ethnicities by their traditional negative qualities. I wonder which inferior tribe WTH belongs to. See you at the club, Quacky.
WTH? - August 25, 2016 - Report this comment
Neo-tribalism is garbage. We all belong to the human race.
Stanley Kowalski - August 25, 2016 - Report this comment
To Ha!: I am not a Polack. People from Poland are Poles, not Polacks. But what I am is a one hundred percent American, born and raised in the greatest country on earth and proud as hell of it, so don’t ever call me a Polack.
Ha! - August 25, 2016 - Report this comment
Nobody called you anything Stan. I posted a Net joke fitting for the parody above. Btw, in Sweden the demonym for Polish person IS Polack! In Norway, it's Polakk.
Stanley Kowalski - August 25, 2016 - Report this comment
You are addressing mostly Americans, not Swedes, Ha! Don't be a bajskorv.
Bajskorv - August 26, 2016 - Report this comment
Q: How many dumb Polacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just Stanley Kowalski. His wife couldn't hold the ladder because she was cleaning toilets!
Hell Yeah - August 26, 2016 - Report this comment
Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt!
CML - August 26, 2016 - Report this comment
@WTH? If you cant tell a sarcastic critique of what the author has been doing for the past two weeks from a straight on bigoted statement ... maybe you shouldn't be posting online
SNL - August 26, 2016 - Report this comment
Polack goes to an older woman for his first sexual experience. She spreads herself for him and the Polack says. "OK, what do I do?" Woman says, "See that opening between my legs; put your penis in there." Polack complies and shouts, "Oh wow, that feels great!! Just like everyone said it would!" .... Then the woman says, "OK, now you have to pull it out a little, but not all the way." Polack's a little confused but does what he's told and says, "OK, what do I do now?" ... Woman smiles and says, "Well, push it back in again, silly." Polack does what he's told and and says, "OK, what now?" And the woman yells, "Pull it out again, ya dumb bastard!" ... So the Polack shouts back "Who you calling dumb! First you tell me to push it in, then you tell me to pull it out! Do you want it in or out? Make up your mind!!"
Anonymous - August 26, 2016 - Report this comment
Say what you will, but this new author's geo-parodies are pure genius! Simplistic and yet revealing. Lots of bits I had to look up, so not 100% pure stereotypes. Just funny.
@CML - August 26, 2016 - Report this comment
Go vote for Trump you Hitlerite! Like Trump, you hate blacks, Muslims, and LGBT! Bet you be sad if anyone steals your lawn sign!
Quinby - August 26, 2016 - Report this comment
A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Polack joke. The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, "He's Polish." Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and repeated, "He's Polish." The bartender finished, "Now think about whether you want to tell that joke, because I'm Polish, too." The customer replied, "I guess I won't tell that joke after all. I'd have to explain it three times."
Stanley Kowalski - August 26, 2016 - Report this comment
I am amazed. Nobody has remarked that I am a fictional character immortalized by Marlon Brando. Nobody has noticed that my comment on the word "Polack" is taken verbatim from "A Streetcar Named Desire," a famous play by Tennessee Williams. "WTH?" obviously has not read the Classic Comics version. That's what I get for depending on the kindness of strangers!

CML, I am diametrically opposed to your political philosophy, but I respect your ability to read with comprehension and subtlety. Quincy and Quentin send their best.
Thanks to Timothy Egan - August 26, 2016 - Report this comment
It's not just about the immaturity of insulting foreigners, or the cutting and pasting of bad Polish jokes, or ignorance of iconic culture, or the inability to read subtext. There is a dumbing-down all around us, and it may very well be fatal.

Most Americans, those born here, those about to make the most momentous decision in civic life this November, cannot name, say, all three branches of government or a single Supreme Court justice. And most cannot pass the simple test aced by 90 percent of new citizens.

In Texas, a recent survey of Donald Trump supporters found that 40 percent of them believe that Acorn will steal the upcoming election. Acorn? News flash: That community-organizing group has been out of existence for six years. Acorn is gone, disbanded, dead. It can no more steal an election than Donald Trump can pole vault over his Mexican wall.

We know that at least 30 million American adults cannot read. But the current presidential election may yet prove that an even bigger part of the citizenry is politically illiterate — and functional. Which is to say, they will vote despite being unable to accept basic facts needed to process this American life. If more than 16 percent of Americans could locate Ukraine on a map, it would have been a Really Big Deal when Trump said that Russia was not going to invade it — two years after they had, in fact, invaded it. If basic civics was still taught, and required, for high school graduation, Trump could not claim that judges “sign bills.”

What you don’t know really can hurt you. Of late, almost half of Floridians have done something to protect themselves from the Zika virus, heeding government warnings. But the other half cannot wish it away, as the anti-vaccine crowd on the far left does for serious and preventable illnesses.

Last year was the hottest on record. And the July just passed was earth’s warmest month in the modern era. Still, Gallup found that 45 percent of Republicans don’t believe the temperature. We’re not talking about doubt over whether the latest spike was human-caused — they don’t accept the numbers, from all those lying meteorologists.

We are sinking, dragged down by junk education and culture, into the ocean.
Breitbart - August 27, 2016 - Report this comment
^ Democrat troll. Don't believe everything you read.
Sunshine - August 28, 2016 - Report this comment
A 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland. Polish officials have so far retrieved 4000 bodies.
Legs Sparrow - October 22, 2017 - Report this comment
Q. How many liberals dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. None they prefer to live in the dark. Q. How many liberals dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two one to screw in the light bulb and the other to check for any animal ingredince Q. How many enviromentalists dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two one to screw in the light bulb the other to check for any rainforests wood
Alpha Skua - October 22, 2017 - Report this comment
Demacrats are troll they eat their peas with their knives

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