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Song Parodies -> "The O-Ring Seal (Launch in the Cold)"
Original Song Title:
"The Blue-Tail Fly (Jimmy Crack Corn)"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"The O-Ring Seal (Launch in the Cold)"
Parody Written by:
The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
The Lyrics
The Challenger had a vacant place
So NASA called for a Teacher in Space.
The got all hyped up in their zeal,
But there were flaws in an O-Ring seal!
(Chorus:)
Launch in the cold, 'cause I don't care!
Launch in the cold, 'cause I don't care!
Launch in the cold, 'cause I don't care!
Go NASA! Launch today!
The temperature dropped the previous day,
But this was the mission's fifth delay.
The media made a great big deal,
So NASA ignored the O-ring seal!
(Chorus)
It got even colder through the night
And Thiokol knew that the seals weren't tight.
To NASA's Chief they did appeal,
About the risks from the O-Ring seal.
(Chorus)
But the Chief said, "That's a risk we'll take.
There's schedules and deadlines we must make.
Besides all that we really feel
There's no real risk from that O-Ring seal!"
(Chorus)
The teacher cheered and said "Let's go!
I've got to give my kids a show!"
But she never knew that the risks were real,
Like fires from leaks in an O-Ring seal.
(Chorus)
The rest of the story is history.
We all saw it happen on TV.
The fingers point. No one can deal
With taking blame for the O-Ring seal.
(Chorus)
The moral of the story is clear:
If you're with NASA, protect your rear!
To keep your job, don't ever squeal
About the truth with that O-Ring seal!
(Chorus)
So NASA called for a Teacher in Space.
The got all hyped up in their zeal,
But there were flaws in an O-Ring seal!
(Chorus:)
Launch in the cold, 'cause I don't care!
Launch in the cold, 'cause I don't care!
Launch in the cold, 'cause I don't care!
Go NASA! Launch today!
The temperature dropped the previous day,
But this was the mission's fifth delay.
The media made a great big deal,
So NASA ignored the O-ring seal!
(Chorus)
It got even colder through the night
And Thiokol knew that the seals weren't tight.
To NASA's Chief they did appeal,
About the risks from the O-Ring seal.
(Chorus)
But the Chief said, "That's a risk we'll take.
There's schedules and deadlines we must make.
Besides all that we really feel
There's no real risk from that O-Ring seal!"
(Chorus)
The teacher cheered and said "Let's go!
I've got to give my kids a show!"
But she never knew that the risks were real,
Like fires from leaks in an O-Ring seal.
(Chorus)
The rest of the story is history.
We all saw it happen on TV.
The fingers point. No one can deal
With taking blame for the O-Ring seal.
(Chorus)
The moral of the story is clear:
If you're with NASA, protect your rear!
To keep your job, don't ever squeal
About the truth with that O-Ring seal!
(Chorus)
Footnotes: I'm retired as both a public school employee and an Army officer. This is my paean to government bureacracy and its Groupthink and Cover Your A$$ mentality. I wrote it in the summer of 1986 after the release of the investigation report on the Challenger disaster. For those of you too young to remember, on January 28, 1986, the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded a little more than a minute after launch from Cape Canaveral, killing all seven crewmembers. The crew included Christa McAuliffe, a schoolteacher from New Hampshire, selected by NASA as a public relations ploy to renew public support for the Shuttle Program, with planned classroom lessons broadcast live from space. The investigation determined that the explosion was due to the failure of a synthetic rubber seal, manufactured by the Thiokol chemical company, on one of the booster rockets. The seal failed because of the record near-freezing temperatures the 48 hours preceding the launch, and Thiokol released a recorded conversation between one of their supervisors and the Director of NASA, raising their concern of possible seal failure, on the morning of the launch.
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"Challenger, Go with throttle-up!" Sad, but 555!
I remember. Saw it live on TV. Every generation has its disasters . I was stunned when the shuttle blew up and Dan Rather broke the silence when he reported on the "explosion". I immediately thought, "Explosion. No this can't be real. Explosion. WTF., man. WTF, WTF, WTF! " That's the feeling that dominated my thoughts that day. I couldn't believe what I was seeing but I was seeing it. Good rewrite. What a sad day that was.
You should do another parody on the Columbia disaster.
And that's not all, it wasn't the explosion that killed them, but the impact when the module they were in when it hit the sea. In the end the explosion still caused their deaths but still...
Another incredible account of survival is of test pilot Bill Weaver whose SR-71 (TN 952) hit Mach 3.2 @ 78,000 ft and then a critical malfunction caused the plane to disintegrate around him at Mach 3.18. He blacked out but awoke falling vertically with the stabilizing chute already deployed. He had NOT initiated escape when the plane came apart! As he descended, the main chute's auto-deploy worked and he landed safely on New Mexico soil. His rear officer had died when the plane came apart. He had a broken neck and was killed instantly. No one knows how Bill survived. Same for the Virgin Galactic pilot of Spaceship Two @ 50,000 ft when it came apart. It is believed that Peter Siebold somehow ejected during the explosion. He wore no spacesuit as the Blackbirds pilots do. At 50,000 ft the air is thin and the temp is -70o F! He possibly did not deploy the chute until much lower altitude. Similarly, his Co-pilot died.
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