The year twenty twenty-one;
Little to endear it
Biden got the White House but
Trump refused to hear it
Insurrection, impeachment
Couldn't get a hand in
Now he's stuck with getting folks
To chant, "Let's go Bran-an-don"

COVID vaccines rolled-out fast
MAGAs won't get it on
Variants start showing up
Delta, Mu, Omicron
Horse dewormers, onion fumes
Do nothing for curing
Texas says, "Screw mandates, plus
"Roe v Wade we're tur-ur-ning!"

Barge blocks the Suez Canal
Cancel-culture haters
Cali's recall doesn't work
And those damned cicadas
Gamestop and AMC's stocks
nearly break the ceiling
Facebook blacks out; how can we
Tell folks how we're fe-e-ling?!

INTERLUDE (up in Heaven)
LARRY KING: We have a caller up in Heaven...HELLO!
LARRY FLYNT: Yeah, where the (bleep) are the nudies up here?!?

ED ANSER: You got spunk, Norm.
NORM MCDONALD: Well, thanks. From one fake newscaster to ano...
ED: I HATE SPUNK!

BEVERLY CLEARY & ERIC CARLE (shaking hands): Well done with the kids!

LEON SPINKS & MARVIN HAGLER (fist bumping with boxing glove): Pound it!

PHIL SPECTOR ON PHONE (Dusty Hill, Charlie Watts, Mary Wilson, Michael Nesmith and Don Everly in background):
I *know* I've gotta a helluva band for ya!

RUSH LIMBAUGH: This Heaven thing is a conspiracy by the lib...
BOB DOLE: Ah, shuddup, you sexist punk! (punches Rush)

PRINCE PHILLIP: Why, yes, I slept with the Queen...
DMX: Y'all just made me lose my mind!

Taliban is back in charge
Milk crate challenge for fame
Russia's stalking the Ukraine
We're all watching "Squid Game"
Though this year was not as bad
Glad for it to be through
Let's pray that we have a much
Better twenty twen-ty-two!

DR. FAUCI: Wait...next year is "twenty twenty, too?! NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!