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Song Parodies -> "Koan On The Brain"

Original Song Title:

"Home On The Range"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Koan On The Brain"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

One of the methods used by Zen masters to teach their students is the "koan" (pronounced "cone"), which is a riddle that has no obvious logical solution. The student has to sit and meditate on the "koan", or puzzle, and then periodically answer questions about it posed by the teacher, or "Roshi". Perhaps the most famous "koan" is: "You know the sound of two hands clapping. What is the sound of one hand clapping?"
Oh give me a koan
Where the muffled low moans
And the tears of my answer's hope pray

For seldom is heard
An encouraging word
From my Roshi, who smiles, once, each May

Koan, koan on the brain
Where my fears can eat Antidote-K

Where Zen masters hear
In their empty mind's ear
One clapping hand's music all day

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Rick D - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
What is the sound of our resident genius occasionally misfiring?
Johnny D - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Jessy Leppert, this one's for you, my friend! :-)
Adagio - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
I like that you did it for Jessy.
Paul Robinson - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
JD - I saw in the comments the other day where someone challenged you to incorporate "Zen" into a parody. I admire you for picking up the challenge, because I'm not sure I could do anything with it at all. I am so tired and grumped out today I'm not gonna try and evaluate any parodies for scores, I'm truly exhausted from some moving I assisted with yesterday, even though I very little heavy lifting. It was for a worthy cause, so I'm not sorry I did it, but tired...yes, I am...
alvin rhodes - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
good one, johnny...i pictured cowboys sittin' around a campfire, meditating...5s
Johnny D - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D: "DONNNNGGGG! DONNNNGGGG!" P.S. --- Thanks for the appellation "resident genius" ... I like it ! ;-)

Adagio: Thanks --- it was Jessy's suggestion that I do a parody about Zen.

Paul: Rest up, sir, you've earned it!

Alvin: Thanks! When I picture cowboys sittin' around a campfire, I picture the bean-eatin' & fartin' scene from "Blazing Saddles".
Johnny D - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
For folks unfamiliar with "Zen" ... People who practice Zen meditation are working towards achieving a mental state that is a perfectly peaceful, quiet, serene state-of-mind...which in Zen tradition is sometimes called "Empty Mind". So when my parody refers to "empty minds", that's what it means --- minds that are not really "empty", but that are actually just perfectly peaceful, perfectly blissful, perfectly quiet, perfectly happy, and perfectly serene! :-)
Paul Robinson - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
But Johnny, wouldn't an empty mind also be likely to be at peace? Now for me to reach a "Zen" state I'd have to call in a housekeeper first to clean up all the clutter to achieve that totally "peaceful, quiet, serene state-of-mind", but I do my best to at least keep it in an upbeat mode. Seriously, when I was going through some anxiety problems a ways back I did find that doing a little mind-clearing, slow deep-breathing and "Ohhmm"-ing did offer quite a bit of relief.
Jessy Leppert - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny.
Johnny D - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
You're welcome, Jessy.
Johnny D - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul --- I'm happy meditation helped you when you needed it. It's helped me from time to time, too. The "empty" mind that Zen practitioners talk about is a mind that is empty of illusions, distractions, chatter, and suffering. At least, that's how I understand it. To a Zen master, a mind that is "empty" is "full" of one's true humanity, unencumbered by the illusions & delusions that cause suffering.
Ashkicksass - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
I always thought the "one hand clapping" thing was just ridiculous. But I liked this. And I too, imagined cowboyd meditating. Which is hilarious. Good job Johnny!
Dee Range - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmmmmm...Hmmmmmm...Hmmmmmm.....Nananananananana.nanananana....nananananana...­be the ball, Johnny, just be the ball. Very clever, 5's
Johnny D - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Ashkicksass: Thanks! And imagine cowboys farting up a storm while they're trying to meditate, too!

Dee "Chevy Chase in Caddyshack" Range: Hmmmm.....Nananananananaaaa....thank you, Dee, thank you, thank you, nanananananaaaaa....
Zenmaster K1chyd with a zenmail message - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
*Insert own meaning here*
Zenmaster Johnny D with a reply to Zenmaster K1chyd - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Tack!
Paul Robinson - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, may I say that this was an informative and "Zensational" comment string...My head is now as empty as a Park Outhouse after the Pumping Truck has made a visit.
Johnny D - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Paul!
Serafina - August 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, JD. At first I wasn't sure what "koan" meant; now I do. Anyway, this one was good. I voted 5-5-5 on it, but it doesn't look like my vote went through. My computer's going slow again.
Johnny D - August 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Serafina.
Timmy O'Toole - January 06, 2005 - Report this comment
I liked it.

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