Oh write me a poem
Using tough palindromes
Show no fear when it comes to wordplay
If boredom occurs
We'll just read it backwards
If you're lost, just repeat what I say

Poems, poems so deranged
That the beer doesn't help what I say
My speech just gets slurred
And my vision gets blurred
And then people start catching my spray

Come and write a new verse
I'll cover your fee
But please keep it corny and trite
Else I'll tend to arrange
And might downright change
Most of the words that you write

Poems, poems so deranged
And the work isn't worth what I pay
It smells like some junk
That might come from a skunk
So I think that I'll throw it away

I'll give it a scan
Might become your new fan
Regard you with great esteem
If I truly grow fond
I'll hum right along
As they pump in my daily morphine

Poems, poems so deranged
And the humor is what I'd call frayed
The punchline is weak
Cause I'm missing the beat
And the laughter is somewhat delayed

Don't write to impress
So just give me your best
Good wages are a lot to earn
With the thanks of the giver,
Your heart then should quiver
Boy have you got a lot to learn

Poems, poems so deranged
That I don't think they'll give me a hand
It's not that its wrong
They will give me the gong
Cause my routine is salty and bland

Your money is tight
So I'll pay you to write
And it should last at least eighteen bars
Well, you might get a raise
If I am amazed
Or you might just get little red stars

Poems, poems so deranged
That I think I might die from the pain
Make my own tunnel
With a paper funnel
Better look out, there might be a train

Well, the audience glowers
Cause I'm up here an hour
And sometimes they tend to get mean
But I just let them razz
Cause I'm still quoted as
The funniest poet they've seen

Poems, poems so deranged
Palindromes though are so hard to rhyme
I'm missing the knack
Should it rhyme front or back?
Cause the people say 'look at the time'

'If I had a hi-fi', 'I saw I was I'
'Ed: a general, a renegade'
'too bad I hid a boot', 'drowsy baby's word',
'live evil', 'yawn a more roman way'

Poems, poems so deranged
That the crowd doesn't hear what I say
They simply get up
And then empty their cup
Then those people start running away