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Song Parodies -> "Nascar Bells or Dashing Through The Corn"
Original Song Title:
"Jingle Bells or Dashing Through The Snow"
Original Performer:
Traditional Christmas Carolers
Parody Song Title:
"Nascar Bells or Dashing Through The Corn"
Parody Written by:
Caleb Boone
The Lyrics
Have you had it up to the gunwales with Nascar? Then you'll love this!
Dashing Through The Corn!
To The Tune Of "Jingle Bells"
By Caleb Boone
Dashing through the corn in a 4,000 horsepower car;
Honking on the horn, scaring buffalo near and far!
Then it came to mind: "Why not have a race?"
Step on the gas, hold onto your hat! Let's pick up the pace!
Nascar boy, Nascar boy, when will you come home?
You drove to Indianapolis: that's too far to roam!
Nascar boy, you went to the store to buy some Ferti-Lome;
But you parked your Winnebago in the middle of the race and called it home sweet home!
Dale Earnhardt's dead but we still worship him.
Racing a burned-out car is better than going to the gym!
"You may have your nails done, or a cookie at the mall;
But Nascar's so much better than that: come on, we'll have a ball!"
Nascar boy, Nascar boy, when will you come home?
You drove to Indianapolis: that's too far to roam!
Nascar boy, you went to the store to buy some Ferti-Lome;
But you parked your Winnebago in the middle of the race and called it home sweet home!
Barbecued ribs are great, but is that all you eat?
I see brisket on your plate: there's more to life than meat!
Try some nice tofu; Perhaps some curried squash?
Whoops! There goes a cinnamon roll! Let's all sit down and nosh!
Nascar boy, Nascar boy, when will you come home?
You drove to Indianapolis: that's too far to roam!
Nascar boy, you went to the store to buy some Ferti-Lome;
But you parked your Winnebago in the middle of the race and called it home sweet home!
Nascar's just like church. Whoa! That's very wrong!
Getting drunk at a Nascar race is just like smoking a bong!
Hippies worship Buddha; Nascars worship Dale!
If you keep this up you'll be spewed out like Jonah from the whale!
Nascar boy, Nascar boy, when will you come home?
You drove to Indianapolis: that's too far to roam!
Nascar boy, you went to the store to buy some Ferti-Lome;
But you parked your Winnebago in the middle of the race and called it home sweet home!
A 'plane flew over D. C. that wasn't supposed to be.
We thought it was Al Shibi after you and me!
They hid the First Lady and also Dick Cheney
But where was George The Younger then? He was exercising: "WHEE!"
Nascar Boy, Georgie-boy, when will you come home?
You rode your bike to Annapolis: that's too far to roam!
Georgie-boy, Silver-Spoon-Boy, you've left us all alone,
You parked your tractor in the middle of the ranch and turned off the red 'phone!
The Filibuster Fight is on and it's still going strong.
The Republicans say: "We're right: the Democrats talk too long!"
He picked the nominees but they didn't get to sit.
And what did Senator Frist do then? He squealed and threw a fit!
Filibuster Boy, Tennessee Boy, will you run for President?
The regular guy on the street downtown won't give you one red cent!
Nascar Boy, Jack Daniels Boy I think it's time to quit!
The office for you, as Garner said: "Ain't worth a pitcher of . . . spit!"
To The Tune Of "Jingle Bells"
By Caleb Boone
Dashing through the corn in a 4,000 horsepower car;
Honking on the horn, scaring buffalo near and far!
Then it came to mind: "Why not have a race?"
Step on the gas, hold onto your hat! Let's pick up the pace!
Nascar boy, Nascar boy, when will you come home?
You drove to Indianapolis: that's too far to roam!
Nascar boy, you went to the store to buy some Ferti-Lome;
But you parked your Winnebago in the middle of the race and called it home sweet home!
Dale Earnhardt's dead but we still worship him.
Racing a burned-out car is better than going to the gym!
"You may have your nails done, or a cookie at the mall;
But Nascar's so much better than that: come on, we'll have a ball!"
Nascar boy, Nascar boy, when will you come home?
You drove to Indianapolis: that's too far to roam!
Nascar boy, you went to the store to buy some Ferti-Lome;
But you parked your Winnebago in the middle of the race and called it home sweet home!
Barbecued ribs are great, but is that all you eat?
I see brisket on your plate: there's more to life than meat!
Try some nice tofu; Perhaps some curried squash?
Whoops! There goes a cinnamon roll! Let's all sit down and nosh!
Nascar boy, Nascar boy, when will you come home?
You drove to Indianapolis: that's too far to roam!
Nascar boy, you went to the store to buy some Ferti-Lome;
But you parked your Winnebago in the middle of the race and called it home sweet home!
Nascar's just like church. Whoa! That's very wrong!
Getting drunk at a Nascar race is just like smoking a bong!
Hippies worship Buddha; Nascars worship Dale!
If you keep this up you'll be spewed out like Jonah from the whale!
Nascar boy, Nascar boy, when will you come home?
You drove to Indianapolis: that's too far to roam!
Nascar boy, you went to the store to buy some Ferti-Lome;
But you parked your Winnebago in the middle of the race and called it home sweet home!
A 'plane flew over D. C. that wasn't supposed to be.
We thought it was Al Shibi after you and me!
They hid the First Lady and also Dick Cheney
But where was George The Younger then? He was exercising: "WHEE!"
Nascar Boy, Georgie-boy, when will you come home?
You rode your bike to Annapolis: that's too far to roam!
Georgie-boy, Silver-Spoon-Boy, you've left us all alone,
You parked your tractor in the middle of the ranch and turned off the red 'phone!
The Filibuster Fight is on and it's still going strong.
The Republicans say: "We're right: the Democrats talk too long!"
He picked the nominees but they didn't get to sit.
And what did Senator Frist do then? He squealed and threw a fit!
Filibuster Boy, Tennessee Boy, will you run for President?
The regular guy on the street downtown won't give you one red cent!
Nascar Boy, Jack Daniels Boy I think it's time to quit!
The office for you, as Garner said: "Ain't worth a pitcher of . . . spit!"
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| 2 | 1 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
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| 5 | 6 | 4 | 5 |
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Caleb, the trick is not how well you run the race, it is how you finish the last lap. You started out with a tune anyone can hum (5 points right there) and made a great lyric out of Nascar, the industry of materialism, deafening noise, obesity, and sudden death. Then you got full of yourself and turned the hose on politicians. That is like getting full of yourself and turning the hose on carpenters or nurses' aides. It doesn't work because, Caleb, politicians cream each other far, far better than any amateur can. They are experts and we are but feeble apes of insult in comparison.The last half of your lyric is like throwing cow pies at cows. Your talents deserve a finer stage.
Awww...even though the parody is good, it really downgrades us NASCAR fans.
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I liked it. Habibi!!! But I have one question, what is nascar? Is it like what Speedo does in Demolition derby? and does one pronounce it Dur-be or Dhar_be. Are you refering to Al Gore? Habibi
Dear Pomfret: I apologize for writing the last two verses. I felt I had to. I wanted to. I just thought they'd sound cute. I see now that they really do detract from the first four verses. Thank you for your constructive advice! Sincerely yours, CALEB BOONE.
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